Page 45 of Love, Nemesis
“I consider losing my humanity a pretty bad experience.” He spoke mechanically, seemingly unaffected by the spell of the words. “It’s just like dying, but instead you have to live through it, and then live with it for the rest of existence. Every sane person who came into contact with the Strike has the same fear, that maybe they’ll wake up one day with those frostbitten fingers.”
Evira scoffed. “You Riders and your rules and toy morals and all of that air. You might be the only one I think really believed in them other than Robert and Pascal.”
“That’s my old life,” Lethe said. “I’m not sure I believe anything anymore.”
Silence settled, full of implications.
“I’m surprised to see you so well,” Evira said after a long while.
The silence lingered longer.
“Maybe the Strike went too far, broke me beyond any real, useful sentiment.” He laughed. “I can’t say I didn’t feelexperienced. No one but the Strike have seen the inside of my ribs. We’ll always have that.” He mocked Evira’s romanticized description, but his next words were drained of humor. “Maybe there’s not much of a difference between a torturer and a lover after all.”
“You certainly had both in Emma.”
“We don’t discuss Emma,” Lethe replied sharply.
There was a pause as if Evira was measuring the threat in his voice. She changed the subject.
“Did any of the other Riders survive the Burning?” she asked.
“No. If my body would’ve just let me die, I wouldn’t have survived either.”
She sighed. “You have to admit, it’s nice not being at one another’s throats for once. We have more in common than you would’ve thought. We’re the last of our kind, in a way. All of the Strike’s other followers that weren’t at the Burning ran off to the Mystics when the Strike were killed. They’ve all grown old and died by now.”
“I’ve thought that before,” Lethe said. “That’s why once you’re dead, and Ivan Rowe is too, I can disappear.”
“Then the war will be over?” she asked.
“Then it will finally be over.”
The figures started to shift inside, and Ana sensed that one would be leaving soon, so she backed away from the tent. She eased into the shadows of the trees, waiting as she saw Lethe step out and make his way down the path to town.
She gave him several minutes and then followed, scanning the area as she headed back to the bullpen. She walked through the darkness of the path, scanning the trees around her until shewas certain she was alone. As the seconds passed, she looked for Lethe’s form ahead on the path.
She stopped short when she caught sight of him standing against a tree to her left.
He was leaning against it in the dark, arms crossed like he’d been waiting for her. She caught his eyes, and neither of them said anything for a moment.
“Nice night for a walk,” he said.
Ana looked back up the path. She could see the light of the bullpen in the distance. “Sure.”
He stepped away from the tree, walking back onto the road. “I’ll join you.”
They started walking together.
She was distinctly aware of his arm beside her, moving back and forth in natural pace as he walked. He had a knife in his belt. He would be able to draw it before she could activate her Atlas. She’d have to be quick to create space, otherwise—
“I used to walk on my own like this to clear my head,” he said. “Sometimes I’d have some kind of revelation…learn something new. Anything like that tonight?”
“No,” she said, trying to get a sense of him.
The image of him hunting Evira flashed through her mind. No real anger or sentiment—just a mission, just raw force. The more time passed, the more potent the image became.
She looked at him to find any outward indication of brashness or aggression, and he met her eyes with that same collectedness. He had to know she’d been listening to him and Evira. Did he see her like he saw Evira? If the impulse came, what would he try and do to her? She couldn’t help but sense that despite his apparent impulsiveness, he was calculated—a jumbled mix of contradictions that she didn’t know how to sort.
When he leaned toward her, she veered away, inspecting him as he suddenly stepped away from his side of the road. Noticing that he seemed to be moving away from something, she glanced behind him to see a small bunch of flowers blooming near the side of the road.
