Page 40 of Finding Her
My stomach sank. Great. I’d completely forgotten Rachel was there in the cafeteria when Claire and I made that stupid bet.
“You’re going to be out there in the wilderness,” she said, her voice practically vibrating with excitement, “with almost no teacher supervision.”
“Well, there’ssometeacher supervision.”
“Barely,” Rachel countered, her tone knowing. “It’s not like the teachers are gonna hover. They’ll be off doing their own thing, leaving you guys to your own devices. Which means you have all the time in the world to spend with Levi.” She gave me a look like her matchmaking plans were a done deal.
“To spend all my time with Levi?” I repeated, staring at her. Then I looked at Lilah, who was nodding in agreement like this was the most logical plan ever.
“Oh, no,” I said, shaking my head emphatically. “That’s not happening. I will not be spending time with him on this trip.”
Rachel’s jaw dropped. “Why not? Isn’t he going?”
“I’m sure he is,” I admitted. “I mean, we haven’t talked about it, but it’s part of the grade, so…” I shrugged. “But that’s not the point. We’re gonna be out there for two days—two days with no showers, looking gross, sleeping in tents, and covered in mud. That is not the time to make a move on Levi.”
I forced myself to say Levi instead of Bear. It was bad enough that people already teased me about being the only one who called him Bear; I didn’t need that coming up again. Besides, I liked that it was something just between us.
Rachel looked at me like I was being ridiculous. “Don’t you see? It’s better that way. It’s so primal. He’s gonna love it.”
I frowned. “Primal?”
“Yeah! Here, he’s surrounded by girls with perfect hair and makeup, right? But out there, it’s different. He’ll see you in a whole new light—like, out in nature, your true self. It’s evolutionary or something.”
I couldn’t even respond to that because I had no idea how to argue with… whatever that logic was.
Rachel plowed ahead. “Anyway, just make sure you pack a cute swimsuit. And clothes that—oh! And maybe some shampoo you can use in the lake if you’re desperate.”
“That’s probably an environmental hazard,” I muttered.
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for love.”
“I’ve got your cute bathing suit right here!” Lilah announced, holding up a bikini she’d practically forced me to buy a few weeks ago.
I snatched it from her and shoved it into my bag with a sigh. “There. Are you guys happy now?”
“Very,” Rachel chirped. And with that, she spun on her heel and left.
I stared after her, dreading the inevitable fallout.
“She’s going to tell everyone about this now,” Saylor said dryly, leaning against my desk. “Just you watch. If you don’t come back from this trip with Levi in love with you, the girls are going to riot.”
I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
CHAPTER 27
bear
Gettingup at 5 a.m. to go on an overnight trip with my gym class was already the last thing I wanted to do. But it only became ten times worse when I got to the bus bay and found Claire waiting there, leaning against one of the walls. I sighed and just tilted my head up to the sky, asking the universe why they were punishing me like this, before I walked over to her and said, “What are you doing here?”
She just smiled sweetly at me. “I want to see you off, of course.”
“Why?” I asked flatly.
“Because I love you.”
“No, you don’t. You love the...” I stopped myself. Mentally, I said everything that I wished I could say but never would: That she barely knew me. That she was brainwashed into the view that she loved me because, for some reason, our parents were insane and thought that we belonged together. That there was no universe in which I would ever love her. That we might as well just end this now.
But I couldn’t. Because the second that I rejected her, she would go back to her parents and tell them what I’d said and it would cause a rift between our families, my dad would get mad,and everything would fall apart. It would be easier once we were in college and outside of the narrow walls of high school, she’d see that dating me wasn’t her best prospect. I was relying on the fact that we would not be going to the same college and could use the distance as an excuse not to be together—I didn’t care if I had to accept an offer to somewhere halfway across the world, as long as it got me away from her.
