Page 99 of His Last Shot
I’m happy. Truly, I am. I never thought going to nursing school was possible for me, let alone finishing.
But a part of me is dying inside. Because the one person I need most isn’t in this massive, crowded auditorium.
Johnny.
There is no doubt in my mind if he was here, he would be cheering the loudest. Maybe even wearing his red and blue uniform. With the pom-poms, of course.
One person that I’m happy isn’t here is my uncle. I haven’t spoken to him since our fight, nor do I plan to. We have both held true to our promises.
And I haven’t stepped foot into Dexter’s. Neither has Micah. Both of us have cut off all ties. A clean break. That bar is full of nothing but memories.
Memories of Johnny.
Slick, Tiny, Randy, and I, however, meet for breakfast every Sunday morning. Those three men have been my lifeline and my sanity. I love them like family. About a month ago, over pancakes and eggs, Slick slipped and called me his daughter while introducing me to an old friend he ran into.
I didn’t correct him.
Even though it felt like my life ended that day two years ago, time still moves forward. And whether we like it or not, you need to move with it. So now that I’ve graduated, I have a job waiting for me at the local hospital and my own place. The house is small, but my favorite feature is the back deck. At night, I lie under the stars and think of Johnny. At times, I can almost sense him beside me or hear him in my ear, telling me how beautiful I am. It's as if his hand is in mine or his lips are skating over my knuckles as we talk about our future.
Almost.
I wince at the memory as I take my seat among my fellow graduates.
Another development since landing the job at the hospital is I can now afford my health insurance. With the freedom to choose my own care, I am going to be switching doctors. Hopefully, the specialists at the Cleveland Clinic can help.
Which leads me to something that’s been hard to deal with. All of this stress and sadness has caused my RA to flare up. I’ve been struggling. So, here’s to hoping a new medical facility, with its advanced technology and stellar reputation, can offer me the support I need.
“Would all the graduates please rise?” The concluding command breaks me from my thoughts. All of my classmates stand, and we switch our tassels over from right to left, then toss them in the air with reckless abandonment.
It’s wonderful; a swell of accomplishment and pride washes over me. A bright spot in my otherwise sad life.
I just wish Johnny was here.
This is all because of him.
A classmate of mine and study buddy turns to talk to me. We exchange a few words, laugh at a memory, then hug, congratulating each other. Lingering in our embrace, we promise to keep in touch when a flash of a familiar silhouette comes into view over her shoulder. I release her and do a double take.
It can’t be.
The figure, shrouded in the deep shadows of the dark auditorium and tucked away in an alcove leading to an exit, stands motionless. A dim light over the archway barely illuminates the edges of their form. It’s a man; he’s tall and leaning against the doorframe. Staring right at me.
It’s Johnny.
His thumbs are in his pockets as he stands relaxed, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He lifts his fingers in a small wave. As if being here isn’t putting his entire family’s life in danger.
Our eyes lock. The commotion and excitement of the room fades to black and blurs around me. My heart hammers against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat in my chest.
He’s here. He came.
My chin quivers, and a shaky smile crosses my face as a group of graduates brush past, obstructing my view and briefly disrupting our intense, silent gaze. I crane my neck around the sea of people.
The sea parts.
But he’s gone.
Frantically, I search the room, my stomach dropping as I try to find him. But as quickly as he entered, he’s gone. I rub my sternum, trying to wipe away the ache that’s striking my heart.
He risked everything just to be here and watch me walk across that stage and accomplish my goal.
