Page 76 of His Last Shot

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She looks back at the building, rolling her bottom lip into her mouth. As she contemplates, I attempt to put her mind at ease. “Like I said, you don’t have to do this today. I just wanted you to know that you have my full support.”

“I want to.” Determined and so sure. “I want to register.”

“Yes!” I exclaim as I clap my hands. “That’s my girl!” I grasp the handle to open the door. “Let’s go then.”

She reaches out and catches my arm, stopping me. “Wait.” I pivot to face her, curious about her sudden reluctance. “I want to do this by myself.” She takes in the building again. “I can’t explain it, but I want to stand on my own when I say to whoever is in there, ‘I’m here to register for nursing school.’” She redirects her attention to me. “Does that make sense?”

I sigh in relief that she’s not backing out. And I’m proud. Oh, so proud. “It makes so much sense. But I’ll be right here, waiting for you when you’re done.”

“Thank you. Thank you for bringing me here and pushing me.”

“Always.”

Rachel

I’m standing at the receptionist desk, one hundred percent questioning this decision.

I rub my elbow.What am I doing?

I should have had Johnny come in here with me because without his ‘Go Rachel!’ enthusiasm, I’ve reverted to ‘I can’t do this.’

The sign at the desk reads, “Be back in 10 minutes,” and I decide that this is my out. As I stand here, staring at the sign, my heart pounding, all of my typical self-loathing doubts bubble to the surface, tasting bitter as usual.

I’m too broken.

Definitely not smart enough.

My RA will get in the way.

You’re no good, Rachel.

Defeat settles in my heart as I let out an enormous sigh. “What am I doing?”

As I turn on my heels to leave, footsteps pounding hardwood come from behind me. “Hello, can I help you?”

Darnit. Didn’t make my hasty exit fast enough, apparently. Now I’m going to have to talk to a person.

“Um … no, that’s okay.” I stumble over my words. “I was just leaving,” I say as I reach for the door handle.

“Are you Rachel Garcia?” the older woman asks.

How in the world does she know my name?

I turn. The woman appears to be in her sixties with reading glasses perched on her smooth, gray hair, styled in a blunt bob, her eyes reflecting a lifetime of experience. She appears kind, her smile is soft, and her words come out sweet. I decide I like her right away. “He said you were tall and beautiful and that youmight bolt. He wasn’t wrong.” Her chair scrapes across the floor as she sits and brings the glasses low on her nose.

Please speak English, lady.I shake my head at all the confusing words spilling out of her mouth. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Well, yesterday, a tall drink of water walked in here and told me you might change your mind once you entered.” She fans herself with her hand. “Hubba hubba. He’s a handsome fella, that’s for sure. You are one lucky lady.”

“Johnny was here?” Nothing is making sense.

“Sure was. He came and told me he was going to bring you and that you had some doubts about going to nursing school.” She points her finger at me, glaring from above her glasses. “We will circle back to that, by the way.”

I nod sharply. “Got it.”

“After that, he proceeded to tell me how extraordinary you are. He actually made me late for a meeting because he wouldn’t stop. Rachel this and Rachel that. That man is over the moon for you, little missy.” My cheeks pink as my gaze lands on the floor. “I tell ya, if my ex had spoken about me the way that man praised you, we would still be married.

“Then, about an hour ago, he came back again and handed me this.” She grabs a long white envelope from the corner of her desk and extends it out to me. “He gave me very strict instructions to give this to you if you wanted to bail. Which I’m guessing you were considering. Am I right?” I nod. “He flashed me the most amazing dimples I have ever seen. How could I resist?”