Page 57 of His Last Shot
I’m not the person for him.
I hit the red button, sending him to voicemail. Then I throw my phone on the coffee table in front of me and stew in my self-loathing. The remote catches my eye, and I decide to watchThe Bacheloras I wait for Micah. It will be a nice distraction, and I might as well watch other people fall in love since it’s obviously not in the cards for me.
It’s better this way. He deserves to be with someone who is perfect.
And I am anything but.
17
I Know
Johnny
“You have reached Rachel. Sorry, I can’t come to the phone—”
Frustrated, I jam the end button and throw my phone into the car’s console.
She didn’t seriously just use the oldest excuse in the book to cancel this date. A date I have waited months for. A date I knew I wanted from the first time I laid eyes on her at Dexter’s.
I shake my head and yank the truck into drive.Nope. Not happening. I am going to do whatever it takes to get her to talk to me.
Before I know it, my truck is steering its way to her house. There is no way that one, I believe her lame excuse, or two, she gets to shut me out.
I’m going over there to find out what’s going on.
Ten minutes later, the bright lights from my truck illuminate her street as I make my way to her house, my hands tightening around the steering wheel. Feeling overwhelmed and scattered, I remind myself to keep my composure and give her the benefit of the doubt because this might not be about me at all. Something could be really wrong.
Her dimly lit house comes into view as I pull into the driveway. Warm light spills out from the living room window, so I know she’s here.
Throwing the gear shift into park and killing the engine, I hop out as my boots crunch and stomp on the driveway. With determination, I walk to her front door, ready for answers. My mind is blank, fueled only by adrenaline, as Istand here with no idea what to say. I raise my hand to knock on the bright blue door—
“Go away, Johnny.” Her meek words jolt straight through me as my hand freezes mid-knock. Then, I hear a muffled sniffle. I was right, something’s wrong, and I am not okay with her not being okay. Suddenly, my nerve endings are firing away.
“Rachel, talk to me, please. What’s wrong?” I plead as I lay my hand on the cold aluminum, ears open wide, waiting for her answer.
“I can’t let you see me like this.” Another sniffle. Confusion rings out in my head.
“Like what? Rachel, please. If you need help, let me help you.”God, why won’t she just open the door?!She lets out a long, weary sigh, barely audible due to this enormous slab of metal locked and separating us.
“Johnny, I need to tell you something.” Her voice, weak and shaking, rips me in two, and the terror in her words carries. She wants to tell me about her RA, I know it. All I want to do is wrap her in my arms and tell her it’s going to be okay. That I don’t care. That her RA is only something she has. It’s not who she is.
“Okay. Sure. Open the door and we can talk,” I implore.
Nothing.
A few very long moments pass, and I wish her reply would replace the constant hum of the crickets. The slight chill in the air does nothing to settle the dread in the pit of my stomach. She coughs, then … “I changed my mind. Go away, Johnny, please.”
Nope, not happening.
Ever since I saw her behind the bar that first day, my whole world tilted on its axis. I want this woman in my life. I need her in my life. If she believes I’m walking away this easily, she’s sadly mistaken.
There have been so many women in my past, and not one of them measure up to Rachel. All of them have been steps leading me here. And she needs to know that I am on her side.
It’s her news, her life, so I was waiting for her to tell me. But for whatever reason, a nervous energy churns beneath my skin, urging me forward. She needs to know that I have been there for her these last few months. That I asked her out, multiple times, even knowing.
I rest my forehead on the cool metal and anchor myself. I have no idea if this is going to upset her. But it’s a chance I’m willing to take. “Rachel”—I steady myself—“I know.”
Silence. Well, except for the dang crickets.
