Page 18 of His Last Shot
I’m not sure I have ever blushed in my whole life.
I guess I do now.
Because of Rachel.
5
Family Sticks Together as One
Rachel
“Okay, Rachel, are all your medications still the same?”
“Yes.”
“How about your pain on a scale from one to ten? Are you in any pain today, and if so, where is it located?”
My inner eye roll is huge with this question. And not that this nurse isn’t sweet and understanding. I get she is just doing her job, but yeah. I am in pain.
Like all the time.
“Yes. I would say it’s a seven. My elbows are really bothering me today.”
Empathy stretches across her face, adding another brow crease to the three already there, hitting her salt-and-pepper hairline.
During the nurse’s typical assessment of me, I casually survey the room. The office has stayed the same ever since I started coming here at ten years old, following my RA diagnosis. Mauve and sea-foam-green-painted walls surround us. The border, adorned with tiny seashells, runs along the top of the wall, peeling slightly in the corner. Ripped and stained vinyl chairs rest along a scuffed wall.
I like to call it retro chic, but really, it’s tacky 1990s Bill Clinton era decor.
When my Uncle Dexter became our guardian, this is where he said I had to go after my diagnosis. And I’ve been here ever since. Plus, it helps that my uncle takes care of the cost.
I have my suspicions about how the doctor gets paid. I’ve never seen a bill, but I have noticed the doctor’s name among a list of others titledTHEY OWE MEin my uncle’s office.
I don’t know what it means, and honestly, I don’t want to.
Truth be told, I had an appointment at the Cleveland Clinic this week, but I canceled it. This place, although I’m not sure I’m getting the best care, is comforting to me. The nurses here are like friends. I can’t leave them. My brother will be livid when he finds out I canceled it. He wants me out of this place and somewhere else. Somewhere ‘more world-renowned,’ as he calls it.
I get it. He loves me and cares. But they won’t be able to help me, I know it.
I’m stuck with this disease with no way out, so why even try?
Also, it’s here that I decided I wanted to be a nurse. Every single nurse that has treated me has been amazing. I want to impart that same kindness and understanding to others who suffer like me.
But I can’t do it. My RA always gets in the way.
I mean, how can I work for someone else other than my uncle? How can I put in the time at school? If I were to have a flare-up, would anyone be understanding? They can come on without warning. I can’t be calling off all the time.
But also, I always wonder, could this be possible for me? Why can’t I do it? The job at the bar isn’t easy at times. It can be physically demanding, yet I push through and do it.
And then, seeing Johnny’s excitement when I told him has forced me to reevaluate some things. To have a man I hardly know express such enthusiasm for my dreams was unlike anything I’ve had in my life. Drew showed no interest in me unless it had to do with my body.
I distinctly remember the day I told Drew I was contemplating pursuing nursing. His exact words were, “Heck, yeah! You would look so hot in scrubs.”
That was it. That’s all I got.
So,having a man cheer me on is … exhilarating. Plus, Micah supports me with this, so maybe, just maybe, my uncle will, too. I know he loves me and wants the best for me.
A sudden rush of ideas floods my mind, grinding and churning their gears as I watch the nurse with her orthopedic shoes enter my info into the computer. Renee has been here since I was young. We have a nice dynamic, so I muster up enough bravery to get her thoughts. “Can I ask you something, Renee?”
