Page 48 of All In
One thing is for sure, I do not look like I’m dressed for a casual walk in the park. A woman who is about to take charge in a boardroom as CEO? Yes, that’s how I appear at the moment. But Nate wants nothing less.
I watch the parking lot as cars come and go, and I realize that I have no idea what Sam drives these days. So, I watch and wait, my hand resting on the stroller, rolling Brielle back and forth. Finally, a silver Saturn pulls in, parks, and Sam gets out, looking incredible as usual. He’s wearing jeans and a navy-blue t-shirt as he exudes an aura of confidence and style. And I know he’s not even trying, which is what makes him so great. Plus, he’s wearing walk-in-the-park-appropriate attire.
With each confident stride, determination becomes more pronounced on his face. I’m surprised he hasn’t smiled yet since I’m grinning from ear to ear. As he approaches, I lift my hand in a friendly gesture, but he walks right past me as if I’m invisible. My smile fades as I track his movements. His eyes scan the area eagerly, trying to find me.
He walked right past me and didn’t recognize me.Do I look that different?I guess I do. The Maria he knew and loved wouldn’t leave the house to go for a walk in the park in this getup.
He didn’t know it was me.The thought sends a quick pain straight to my chest.
Shaking my head to dismiss these thoughts, I call out to him before he gets too far away from me. “Sam!” At the sound of his name, he spins around to see who called him. His head tilts to the side in my direction, and I become awareof the obnoxious oversized sunglasses I’m wearing. I lift them onto the top of my head so he can see my face. As soon as we lock eyes, he realizes it’s me.
“Maria?” he asks, walking over, still unsure. He pauses, standing directly in front of me. “Wow! I didn’t even recognize you.” With a perplexing expression on his face, he scans me up and down, trying to decipher something. His eyes hold a blend of confusion and admiration. “You’re so dressed up. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you look fantastic. But just …reallydressed up.”
“Yeah, well, Nate likes me to look good no matter where we are, so …” I say as I shrug. As Sam processes this revelation, his eyebrows furrow in a perplexed manner. He shakes it off, smiles, and stretches his arms out, more than likely wanting a hug. We both let out an awkward snicker, the tension palpable between us. As we step forward to hug, our heads collide instead.
“Ow!”
“Oh, geez!”
We both exclaim simultaneously. I rub my forehead as our laughter fills the air. Sam steps back, foregoing the hug because I am sure he is feeling this awkward tension as much as I am. He puts his hands in his pockets, clears his throat, and diverts his attention to Brielle, peacefully asleep in her pram.
That’s right, a freaking pram. I wanted a practical stroller, but of course, Nate vetoed it, saying he didn’t want his wife looking like a soccer mom. Whatever that means. So my mother-in-law bought this pram like we live in the turn of the century England or something. I hate it. It’s ridiculous and impossible to get in and out of the car. But again, what can I do?
“So, who is this little one?” His voice softens as he peers at my daughter, and I realize we haven’t said hello to each other yet. It also occurs to me that this is our first time seeing each other since the shed, and a wave of regret washes over me. The day I made the second worst decision of my life when it comes to Sam.
I watch him stare at my daughter; his eyes filled with curiosity. “This is my angel, Brielle,” I answer, my response dripping with pride. I may not have chosen the right life partner for myself, but one thing is certain. That decision brought me Brielle, and she is my life. I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
Sam’s gaze shifts from me to my daughter, his eyes filled with … what I don’t know. Once again, I struggle to read his face as he studies her. It’s killing me, since it’s my only gateway to his thoughts. And I am not about to ask him what’s going through his head right now.
He appears … sad.
“She’s gorgeous,” he says as he admires Brielle and touches her small delicate hand. “Congratulations, Maria.”
“Thanks. She’s pretty amazing.” Our fingers brush briefly as he pulls his hand away at the same time I lean forward to adjust her blanket. This quick light touch floods my whole body with heat.
And it shouldn’t.
He turns back in my direction, a slightly awkward smile playing on his lips, as he slips his hands into his pockets, then back out again. Sam, who is always so confident, looks nervous and unsure. “She looks just like you.”
And he’s right, she does. She bears no resemblance to Nate.
I nod in agreement. We stand at the entrance of the park, taking in our surroundings, purposefully avoiding eye contact with neither of us talking. The silence lingers, and the tension in the air is almost suffocating, even though we are outside. It’s a beautiful day. The sky is blue and full of big, puffy clouds. Birds are singing as people mill around us, enjoying the park’s beauty.
But this awkwardness between us is new.
And I don’t like it.
After what feels like an eternity, he finally makes a move, his attention drawn to my shoes. “So, will you be able to walk the path in those shoes? Because, I mean, we can get coffee somewhere instead,” he says, thumbing behind us.
I possess a hidden talent he is unaware of: the ability to walk flawlessly in heels with little to no effort.
All because Nate makes me wear them.
“Nope, I’m good.” I grab the handle of the pram and start forging ahead to prove my point. I put my sunglasses back on to shield my eyes from the intense midday sun. Sam falls into step beside me, and the uncomfortable silence settles back in.
Being with Sam is doing a number on my heart. There’s an undeniable feeling of being loved and secure that washes over me whenever I’m near him. Despite what Nate offers me … a vast roof over my head, a big bank account, fancy clothes, and frequent vacations … none of it compares to Sam.
But this silence is sucking the life right out of me, so it’s time to bridge the conversation gap. I finally gather the courage to do so. “I was really shocked to get your email.”
