Page 90 of All In
Maria: Any advice? I may need a professional.
Sam: I don’t specialize in pediatric psychology.
Maria: Um. Ok. So formal. Is everything alright?
The next day
Maria: Hey! Just wanted to text and say Good Morning.
Two weeks later
Maria: I haven’t seen you much in the mornings. Or heard from you. It’s been a couple of weeks.
The next week
Maria: Have you changed your number? If this isn’t Sam, please let me know.
The next day
Maria: Sam, are you okay? I don’t want to seem like a crazy ex-girlfriend here, but why haven’t you been texting me? I’m worried.
Chapter thirty-three
Late October 2018
Sam
Maria: Sam, are you okay? I don’t want to seem like a crazy ex-girlfriend here, but why haven’t you been texting me? I’m worried.
Maria’s text from yesterday stares back at me as I swirl the scotch in my glass, the amber liquid coating the sides as I do. I ordered it about thirty minutes ago and still haven’t taken a sip. My mind is elsewhere. Dexter’s is especially quiet tonight, which makes sense since it’s Tuesday. I texted the guys and asked them to meet me for a drink.
Mostly, I need their advice. Because I have a huge decision to make.
Over the past year, Maria and I have been messaging each other, grabbing lunch together, and gradually rebuilding our relationship. We would see each other in the parking lot, and I loved it. If I’m being honest, it has been nothing short of amazing. Having her back in my life again brings a sense of completeness that I didn’t know I needed. Being together feels like all the missing pieces have finally come together. It’s relaxed, it’s easy.
But then, as soon as the texting stops or lunch is over, the confusion settles in. There are plenty of reasons why.
For one, Cara and I have gone from casual to official. That was over the summer, so it feels wrong to keep this up with Maria. I’ve already done the emotional connection thing with Maria while in a relationship. And we all know how that ended.
And two, she keeps bringing up the past, which for me, when it comes to us, is full of hurt. Full of memories of being givenThe Chadletter on her doorstep. Of pouring my heart out in a shed, begging her to choose me. And her choosing Nate instead. I don’t want to go through the same heartache again.
Plus, I brought Cara home to meet Mikey, which was a huge step and was the exact moment I knew I had to let Maria go. Did Mikey and Cara hit it off?
Meh.
Mikey said that she seems high maintenance. And he’s right, she can be. But just like how Chandler told Monica onFriends… I like maintaining her.
With my decision made, I arranged lunch with Maria, intent on telling her. But of course, the second I saw her, all reasonable thoughts got tossed out the window.
When we would meet for lunch, it was nothing but friends catching up with some flirty banter thrown in. It was wonderful having her in my life again. We would go months sometimes without seeing each other, and then we would meet again, and it was like no time had passed.
As time went on, occasionally, our hands would meet across the table. I never kissed her, but we always hugged once we would depart. Each hug getting longer and longer. Kisses on the cheek followed. And let’s be honest, we all know what would happen next. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Do I want to feel her lips on mine again? Absolutely! Am I ready for the relationship that would follow? No. No, I’m not.
But then again, maybe I am.
Overwhelmed, I click off my phone and bury my hands in my face, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.I am a complete head case right now.
A huge meaty hand wraps around my shoulder. “Hey, man.” Big C saddles up to the bar stool next to mine and sits. I give him a nod as he waves over the newbartender. A beautiful, tall, statuesque woman that Ricky is going to salivate over as soon as he gets here.
