Page 56 of All In
Keep in touch.
Yours, Sam
Date: February 17, 2006 11:45pm
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: I also have some news…
Sam,
I have read and reread your email about a thousand times and I am so freaking proud of you! And I deserve no credit for your success. I just nudged you and you flew. Have you found any work yet? I’m sure any practice would be happy to have you. I can see you doing so much good for your patients and I can’t wait to hear all about it.
So how is Mikey doing? He has to be what like 10 months now? Isn’t it crazy how fast time flies when you have little ones. My Brielle is growing like a weed and attached to my hip. Which bothers Nate to no end. She’s also very close to my parents but not to his. It’s a whole thing. Maybe if Nate and his family weren’t so cold and frigid, Brielle would warm up to them more. We fight about it all the time and I am so tired of being stressed.
And if you’re ready for another little bit of good news … I am a mom again! Mason was born the beginning of this month and he’s perfect.
My pregnancy went well enough. But full disclosure … after he was born, I had a hard time bonding with him. And it’s not because I don’t love him, I do. I’ve never felt depressed before and I don’t know what is bringing this on. I don’t feel like myself. Nate is oblivious, as usual. You are the only one I can confide inabout this. I’ll be okay … it’s just hard. It’s just that … well, I won’t say. There’s no sense in dreaming or thinking about what might have been.
There’s no point.
Love, Maria
Date: April 25, 2006 3:14pm
From: [email protected]
Subject: Are you ok?
Maria,
Are you ok? I’m serious. I didn’t like the tone of your last email. You sound so sad and depressed even. I’m very worried.
Please find something that makes you happy, Maria. Anything. It can be as simple as a TV show, or a nice long hot bath, or maybe that job we talked about. I feel like I am losing you. The spark that I love so much about you, seems lost.
Please, I am begging you.
Yours, Sam
P.S. I found a job working for a psych group here in Atlanta. I love it.
Date: August 13, 2006 8:22pm
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: Are you ok?
Sam,
So you were right in your last email. I was a mess. Not sure I would use the word depressed, but I was close. Your email hit a nerve. You were right. I needed to find something for myself. And one of the easiest things I can change right now is how I dress. I haven’t worn jeans in over … honestly I don’t know how long it has been. So, even though I wasn’t feeling like myself, I went and bought some jeans. Three pairs! Nate was furious, but I wore them every dang day and slowly, I felt like the old Maria was coming back. My choice in clothes is still causing issues, but when it comes to Nate, everything is an issue.
How did both of us end up in these marriages? Do you ever think about that?
