Page 21 of All In
Is that Chad?
Is she still in school?
Does she live at home?
Why? Why did she destroy us?
I finish my beer as I stare, willing her to look in my direction. The minutes tick past as song after song plays. The dance floor is a revolving door of people, while more patrons come and go out the entrance. A fight breaks out near the front as the bouncer grabs a guy by the collar and throws him out.
But the commotion fades in the background as I watch Maria. I can feel Big C’s eyes on me as he serves customers, watching me, probably wondering what I’m going to do.
Just when I decide to take off because this is pure torture, preppy guy whispers in Maria’s ear. He gets a small nod from her and then leans in to give her a tender kiss on the forehead. I track him as he leaves with his friends, weaving through the crowd and right out the front door.
Leaving Maria alone.
She’s swaying to the music and looks lighter now that he’s gone. I’m watching, spellbound by her presence. As the tacky disco ball in the middle of the dance floor comes to life, beams of light bounce off of something gold resting on Maria’s wrist.
Oh, my God. It’sthewatch.
The watch I gave her at graduation. The watch that I saved our entire senior year for. The watch I gave her in Pittsburgh, at our spot.
I can’t believe she still has it. And wears it.
This realization forces me to look away so that I can get my bearings. I still don’t know why she ended things. I know what her letter said, but for two years, something has always felt off about how it went down. It continues to haunt me. There is nothing I want more than to hold her in my arms again, one more time. Maybe ask for answers.
And as if I willed it to happen, the music changes to a slow song. I glance at Big C, and he shakes his head in warning, knowing what I’m thinking.
But I can’t help myself.
Taking a swig for some courage, I place my beer on the bar and head in her direction.
I’m going in.
Chapter nine
1997
Dexter's
Maria
“Have fun tonight, Maria,” Nate says as he kisses me on the forehead, his breath reeking of booze. I give him a fake sweet smile as I watch him and his friends leave the overcrowded bar.
God, I hate this place.
Nate and I have only been here one other time since we started dating a few months ago. It’s always the same scene. Drunk guys and girls downing beers and exchanging numbers after they dance up against one another. Loud country music blares as line dancers stomp and turn in unison with the beat of the music. Nate picked this place for our guys’ and girls’ night out.
I didn’t get a say. I never do.
Which I know sounds awful, but it’s what I need in my life right now. School is kicking my butt, and my parents’ marriage is deteriorating at a rapid rate. I don’t have the energy to make decisions … with anything. That’s why Nate and I work.
He leads the way, and I follow.
Am I happy? I gave up on happiness two years ago.
Nate enjoys showing me off and parading our relationship around like I’m a prize he won. And I admit, deep down, I like the attention. And he likes thearm candy. There’s no denying it, we look good together. Our friends say it all the time.
“You two are the cutest couple.”
