Page 108 of All In
She nods. “Okay.”
Leaning in, her hair tickles my nose. A gentle sigh escapes my lips as I mutter the words. “I’m all in.” She sucks in a breath of air as I continue. “With you. It’s only ever been you.”
As I pull away, the electric tension between us is almost too much, and I can’t breathe. Our faces are now inches apart. I watch her as she processes my revelation. More tears brim her eyes as she shuts them, trying to stop her emotions. Her breathing increases.
Something in this moment feels different. Standing here, outside a black Chevy, in the middle of the noisy city, our worlds have collided yet again. Staring at her, I can feel a seismic shift in my life, and the handful of times we have seen each other since the break-up, the significance of each floods my mind.
Our first meeting at Dexter’s felt surreal.
The time in the shed before her wedding. Catastrophic.
That day we met in the park. Sad.
All our lunches together. Nostalgic.
When I let her go that day in my car. Loss.
But now, right now, the earth is moving me toward her. Pulling me back into her orbit. Right now … feels … permanent.
And I never want to leave this moment.
Yet, I know she needs to go. So, reluctantly, I release her arm. The second she’s out of my grasp, I miss the feel of her skin. As I lean past her, the intensity of her stare pierces into me. I pop my head into the car, speaking directly to the driver. “Make sure she gets home safe.”
He gives me a sharp salute. “Will do.”
Without a word, Maria enters the car with a graceful slide. I close the door and step back. Our eyes meet through the glass, conveying a multitude of emotions. The driver pulls from the curb and makes a left. I watch the taillights disappear into the sea of cars.
Taking the love of my life … to Geoffrey.
Chapter thirty-eight
Maria
The lingering touch of Sam’s hand on my back as the Uber arrived at Geoffrey’s house made me aware of the choice I had to make about our relationship. No touch from one person should have this kind of effect on me. Especially when I am in a relationship with someone else. Heck, just seeing him made my stomach turn inside out.
Taking in the view of Geoffrey’s cape cod, the house is undeniably stunning. But I know deep down that the man inside isn’t where I belong.
The chemistry and connection between Sam and me is beyond words, and for the first time since I wrote the Dear John letter, the timing feels right for us. How do you describe a love so intense that it consumes everything? Love that surpasses the boundaries of time, space, distance, and broken promises?
It’s simple. You don’t.
Sam and I share a deep bond, our hearts intertwined, unbreakable. No matter how much we try to move on, date other people—even marry other people—somehow, we always find our way back into each other’s lives.
I don’t believe in soul mates. The idea that there is one person meant for us is misguided. To me, there’s nothing more romantic than the knowledge that out of all the people living on this earth, someone has chosen you to be their person.
Love isn’t something out of our control. It’s a choice. And Sam has chosen me.
Now it’s my turn to let him know that I want him. I need him. I love him.
But before anything else, I have to confront Geoffrey and have a tough conversation where I end things between us.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with him. This is going to be hard because he’s such an extraordinary man. Geoffrey is undeniably gorgeous. A true gentleman, successful, kind-hearted, and brave. He is perfect in every way, but there is one flaw that he can’t shake off.
He isn’t Sam.
Our relationship started slowly, and that was because of me and the pandemic. I had a hard time going the distance with him due to my shattered heart. But eventually, Geoffrey snaked his way into my life, and my feelings grew. We connected and have the best time together.
I’ve tried with him. I did. But I haven’t given my heart to him, not completely. And after tonight, I know why. As long as Sam is close and around, I’ll never be able to love another man.
