Page 191 of Lost Lyrebird
My hand slides down, cupping his dick through his jeans.His eyes close, jaw clenched as a tortured sound escapes him.The sound is music to my ears.
“How much?”I ask, as I begin jacking him.
“Lil’ Bird.”He shakes his head.
Drawing back, he asks, “Are you gonna be my dirty little vixen today?Is that what this is about?”He dips his chin, indicating my dress, and then lays his hand over mine, adding pressure.
“I was leaning that way.”I flash him a sly grin.
“Tell me then what you want—what you need, Lil’.I wanna know exactly how you want it.”
“How do I want you?”I tease, my tone soft and sensual, but also curious as to what he means.“I think you know the answer to that.”
His grip on my neck tightens, making my breath hitch.It also sends a zing of pleasure rippling through me.
“I wanna know how this plays out in that wicked little mind of yours.How you’ve always wanted it, but never trusted anyone enough to say it out loud.”
I caress his face with my gaze, memorizing every contour.His straight brows, deep-set eyes, and his beautiful lips, half hidden behind his goatee.Seeing strands of hair about to fall into his eyes, I sweep them back and run my nails lovingly through the hair by his temple.He grants me one of his rare, precious smiles.
“The God’s honest truth?”
“Yeah, the God’s honest truth.”
So I let the words spill from me—no lies, no pretty omissions.“I want a man who’s not afraid to fuck me.And I mean fuck me—raw, real, and sinfully dirty.Someone who has no trouble taking control without abusing it.He can throw me around as long as it’s for pleasure.And I love all surfaces—it doesn’t have to be in a bed.”
I run my thumb over his bottom lip, and he nips at it.“Go on.”
“I want to be taken without being taken advantage of.I want a man who will be a man—but still let the softer parts of me shine.Who makes room for those darker, naughtier parts, too.Someone who loves them all equally.Mostly, I want someone who’ll treat my body like it’s his own personal toy made for his pleasure, but give me the same in return on those rare days when I need to be the one in charge.”
Saying it out loud makes me nervous about his response, but I push through and give him everything I’ve felt but never given voice to.“Control is something I’ve always had in situations like this, but more often than not, I want to let go and just feel—without having to think.I want to be so overwhelmed by it that Ican’tthink.”
“You want it taken from you?Not handed over—taken?Control?”
“Yes.Not all the time, but… yeah, that’s what I’ve fantasized about.”
“That kind of dynamic requires a level of trust.Safety.A way to stop things—so you know you can always stop me if you’re not feeling it.”
I open my mouth, ready to make a smartass comment to lighten the moment, and he must know it’s coming, because he presses his thumb over my lips.
“We don’t need safe words,” he says.“What I need you to promise me is that if you ever want to stop, or get triggered, or things change, or whatever the case may be, you speak up.That’s it.Just be honest with me about how you’re feeling.Can you do that?”
When he removes his hand, I let a slow grin stretch across my lips.“Yeah, baby.I can do that.”
A relationship with Finn isn’t like anything I’ve ever had before.There’s nothing fake, nothing unclear.It’s a baring of our souls—leaving no room for ambiguity.
Not able to help myself, I go on.“I’m not done.”He chuckles, and the smile that spreads across his face steals my heart.
“I want a man who will sate himself with me.Edge me.Make me beg for it—damn near torture me in the process.I want to be so far gone with wanting that I lose my mind.So close to breaking that I don’t know which way is up.”
He takes my hand and sucks on my thumb, which makes it hard to concentrate, but somehow I do, though the steadiness in my voice wavers.“I want to see that primal side of you.Hear it in your voice.I don’t want a man who holds back or is too afraid to ask for what he wants.I want someone depraved enough to say fuck it and take it—who craves the taste of me on his fingers and face.Then—after we’ve exhausted ourselves—I want to find the other sides of that man.The one who holds me like I mean more to him than his ego will admit.”
He releases my thumb and brings my knuckles to his lips.“I can do that.”His irises are dark with promise, pupils blown wide.He opens his mouth to say more, but I raise a brow because I’m still not done.
“I’ve been taken like this by one man.”I hold up my finger for emphasis.“One man in my life.And honestly, I used to wish it hadn’t happened.I really fucking did.But it was that fucking good with him every time, so I couldn’t.Every goddamn woman should know what that feels like—at least once.So I’m not willing to part with those memories, no matter how much they cost me.”
“Oh, yeah?”By his deepening grin, I can tell he’s catching on now.“If he was that good in bed… and gentle and caring afterwards… where is he?”
“Standing right in front of me.Alive and well.And thank-fucking-you for making the rest of my sexual experiences utterly unsatisfying.I went ten fucking years without it—and then I only had a few days to re-experience it before it was taken away from me again.”I draw out the last word.
