Page 23 of Ride or Die
"Whoever she is, she's ugly. Colt is totally out of her league. Is he getting desperate or something?"
“I think it's a bet. I mean, look how opposite they are. She does not fit in here, and she never will. Who does she think she is? That she can walk in here and become one of us? Take our men?” a nasally voice chimes in.
“Definitely is a bet. See the way he is with her? He’s never like that with other girls. He’s playing into the good girl thing to get into her pants,” the next one says.
“He’s just brought her here to fuck her and then tell everyone about how bad it is. That’s what Axel told me.″ They all cackle loudly together.
I know I shouldn’t let what these childish girls say bother me. But I can’t help it. Their words cut me like a knife. I am doubting everything Colt has said to me, and now my anxious, overthinking, introverted self is starting to believe they are right. That I’m a bet or a prank.
Because this is all too good to be true, so it must be.
My heart starts to race and I start panicking, my social anxiety peaking. I don’t belong here. Suddenly, I don’t have to pee anymore.
I need to get out of here.
I exit through the front of the house, hoping to sneak away like the coward I am, but Colton sees me from the garage, speed walking away from the house.
“Layla?!” he calls out. I ignore him and keep walking hastily.
“Where are you going?” I hear him coming after me. He catches up to me when I get to the sidewalk.
“Hey,” he says softly as he grabs my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. “Where are you going?” I face him, the tears flooding my eyes finally breaking free and running down my face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with concern. His intoxicating scent overpowers me again, making me feel weak for him, even as Istand here with my arms folded across my stomach to contain how sick I feel inside.
“I overheard people talking about me in the kitchen. That I’m some bet. That you brought me here to fuck me and make fun of me. That you’re using me for something, that I'm ugly and will never fit in here. And they’re right. I won’t. I can’t surround myself with such negative, mean people. This was a horrible idea. I knew this was all too good to be true.” I cover my face and sob.
He reaches for me, pulling my hands away. Sadness fills his eyes, his thumbs wiping the tears from my cheeks. I briefly lean into his touch, but force myself to step away from him. I can’t have him touch me right now.
“I’m sorry, Colt. This is just not the life for me. I know you say you want to leave it, but you can’t yet, and I’m not cut out for it. Like, two weeks ago you came screeching into my life, confessing all these things, making me feel all these things. And I’m confused. You’re Colton fucking Hawthorne! Lead player, lead bad boy, car thief, street racer. I can’t keep up with you! I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know whether to listen to my heart, my head, or my gut.” He stares at me solemnly.
“They're just jealous assholes. Everything they said, it's all lies, Layla. I like you so fucking much. Those shitty people at that party, I’m not like them, it’s all for show.” He points back to the garage.
“Yes, it’s lame as fuck, but the guy you see in there, that’s not the real me. You’re the only one who’s seen the real me. I’ve told you how I feel about you, and none of it is a lie. I want you. I want a life with you. I am willing to give it all up for you. I don't fucking care about those people.” His voice is desperate as he steps towards me, taking my hands.
I let myself feel his hands in mine, letting go only after I’ve committed his touch to memory. I step back, dropping hishands as I shake my head. “Colton, we’re too different, leading completely opposite lives. Like I said, I can't be around those people, that life. I'm sorry, I can't do this.”
His back straightens, and it’s like the reality of what's happening slaps him right in the face.
“Well...you’ve made your decision then, haven't you? I was right to never try with you earlier. I’ll never be good enough for you, will I?” I stare at him blankly, each of his words hitting like a punch. He nods, looking at the ground. “See ya around, White.”
He turns and walks away without looking back, the finality of his words literally breaking my heart.
Fuck. I fell for Colton, and I just ruined everything.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
PERFECT
COLTON
When I turn back around, she is running down the street. I put my hands on my head, huffing out an aggravated breath as I stare after her.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have left it like that. How did I manage to fuck this up?
Of course she’d be sensitive and question everything if she overheard people gossiping like that, and I had to be a little bitch and make it about me. She was into the idea of us until she came here and heard those lies. I felt it in the way her body melted into mine, the way she kissed me so affectionately, her little moans…
