Page 18 of Ride or Die
He leans in to give me another slow peck on my lips, but we can't help ourselves. Our kiss deepens, turning into a mini make-out session that leaves me lightheaded and longing for more.
I can’t believe I have my first official date next weekend with Colton Hawthorne.
CHAPTER
TEN
ADDICTED
LAYLA
Normally, I’m a pretty levelheaded girl. My mind is quite analytical. I like to examine data, determine the probability of outcomes based on that data, and research. I’m a realist and don’t believe in things like fate or the universe. There is usually a logical explanation behind everything that happens.
I wouldn’t let something like a boy get in the way of my goals or interrupt my train of thought. I used to laugh at desperate girls who were fawning over boys. Like it was the most important thing in the world to be noticed by them. I used to think girls like Simone, who go out of their way to dress up and look good to get attention, were pathetic, sad excuses for women everywhere.
Maybe it's because boys never paid attention to me, so I put this guard up, telling myself it was all so stupid. But, now that I’ve actually kissed one, I can see where they are coming from. It's like I’ve been floating on air ever since Colton and I hung out, and I can’t get him out of my head.
I didn’t see him for the rest of the weekend, but we texted non-stop and even did homework together on video call. Asidefrom a brief period on Saturday night, where I’m sure he was out street racing, he was attentive and interested in everything about me.
Honestly, I’m glad we weren’t around each other because I would have jumped his bones way too easily. After feeling his hands all over me and his tongue in my mouth, I’m ready to combust. Given the opportunity, I would one hundred percent give my innocence to the bad boy of The Shores.
No matter how sexually stimulated he makes me, I have to make him work for me at least a little. To think I have to wait until Friday for our date is excruciating.
He lives two streets over and could have easily come over to push for more, but he didn’t. Being who he is, he’s never had to work for a girl’s affection, so this must be entirely new to him. I see depth behind his eyes, a soul that is much more than the hard exterior he puts out there. It makes me hopeful that maybe he genuinely wants to be with me, but I’m still wary that it’s all a prank.
It’s Monday right before the morning rush, and I am sitting in the back room finishing a muffin and coffee while my leg shakes beneath me. Elliott passes by, backtracking to eye me up suspiciously from the doorway.
“What has you all worked up? I never see you this way.” He sweeps his pointed finger the length of my body.
I lean back and sigh. “Okay, promise not to tell anyone? I don’t really have friends and I could use some advice.” His eyes widen and he nods, taking a seat across from me.
He pushes his glasses up with his finger and leans in. “Spill girl.”
“Okay, so a guy I’ve had a crush on for years told me he likes me and kissed me last week. It was my first kiss, too. Well, first make-out session, really.”
“Oooh, I like where this is going!” he practically squeals, making me giggle before I continue.
“Then we spent all weekend texting and video chatting. It’s just, he’s popular and I’m not, and I’m worried I’m some prank, and he will break my heart and embarrass me,” I say, nervously biting my lip.
Elliott nods, taking everything in.
“He asked me on a date this Friday to meet his friends and get dessert after. I don’t know what to do. I avoided actually spending time with him all weekend to keep this from going too fast, and later today I’m going to see him again for the first time since we kissed. I’m super nervous.” My hands fidget in my lap.
Elliott leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. “Your first kiss, eh? That’s a big one. Does he know it was?”
I nod. "Mhm, he most definitely did. He kissed me, then said he's had a crush on me for years. We've gone to school together since I was eleven."
Elliott nods a few more times before resting his elbows on the table. “Well, here’s the thing about relationships and love. Every time you put yourself out there, you risk getting hurt. But all those awesome private, intimate moments are worth putting yourself out there. The companionship alone is worth it. Yeah, sometimes you get your heart broken, but you dust yourself off and move on. And sometimes you hear these beautiful stories of soulmates who find each other young, and there is never anyone else for them. But you have to put yourself out there to find that person.”
I mull that over for a second. He’s right, I can’t be safe and closed off forever out of fear, or I'll always be alone.
“Besides, you’re gorgeous. Is it really that odd that a popular hottie could want you?”
“Elliott, I’m the loser good girl where I come from. No one pays attention to me, people don’t like me. Guys like him don’tgo for girls like me,” I say quietly, my shaky hand grabbing my coffee to take a sip.
“I don’t know why they call you that. What, because you’re good at school? They are all missing out, Layla. Besides, I think you’re awesome, so fuck the rest of those people. As for the new hunk, I say go for it. He’s kissed you, told you he likes you, wants to introduce you to his friends? What do you have to lose? Your virginity perhaps?” He chuckles.
“Oh shut up, leave me alone.” I bury my head in my arms, embarrassed. Obviously, if I admitted it was my first kiss, it would mean I’m still a virgin.
