CHAPTER 40
Dean
"June pack that for you?"Dean asked, settling into the uncomfortable plastic chair in the break room.
"Every morning for twelve years," Russell said with obvious pride. "Turkey and Swiss today. She writes little notes sometimes."
He showed Dean a piece of paper tucked inside the wrapper:Don't let the idiots get you down. Love you.
Fiona had packed him notes once. The memory made his chest ache. “That's nice," he managed.
Russell studied his face. "You look like hell, if you don't mind me saying."
Dean laughed bitterly. "That's because I am hell. Or at least I'm living in it."
"Want to talk about it?"
Dean stared down at his hands. Once Russell knew what a piece of shit he was, he wouldn’t want to keep eating lunch with Dean.
"I destroyed my marriage," Dean said quietly.
Russell waited.
"I took the woman I loved—the kindest, most genuine person I've ever known—and I served her up to wolves," Dean said, his voice cracking. "I let twenty-three thousand strangers laugh at her."
He told Russell everything. The social media account. The posts that made Fiona look naive and childish. The comments he'd encouraged. The way he’d let his so-called friends drag her down. That he’d taken her to dinner parties at their houses, let her make small talk with people who'd been mocking her for years.
Russell had stopped eating halfway through Dean's confession.
"Jesus, Dean."
A silence bloomed between them. Not awkward—just heavy. Loaded.
Then Russell said, flatly: “You mocked her publicly. For your entire marriage.”
Dean didn’t look up. “Yeah.”
“You brought her to dinners with the same people who laughed at her online?”
“Yes.”
“Sat next to her while your friends ripped her apart and you said nothing?”
Dean nodded, throat too tight to speak.
Russell shook his head, biting back something angry. “You know, I’ve worked with some selfish bastards in my time. But that’s a new level.”
Dean didn’t argue. He let the disgust settle over him.
He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "She filed for divorce. And you know what she asked for? Nothing. Not the apartment, not alimony, not a fucking dime. She just wanted to be free of me."
Russell was quiet for a long moment, sandwich forgotten.
"I don't deserve her back,” Dean said. "I never deserved her in the first place."
Dean's voice got rougher. "I'm so fucked up, Russell. I had the most genuine, loving woman in the world, and I lost her. I thought I was so smart but all I was was stupid.”
Russell looked at him for a long time.