Page 94 of I Don't Need Your Love
“Oh, yeah. That makes sense.”
We fall into place side by side and make our way to the gym. Now that he and I are sort of in close proximity to each other, yesterday’sincidentonce again breaches the fortification around my mind. I muster all the weapons I’ve got and remove the threat. Idon’twant it to ruin anything between us.
Although, I can’t help but wonder if he thinks about it, too. And if he does, does he also shove it away? Or does he wonder what would happen if I hadn’t pushed him away?
“I focused on my arms this morning,” he tells me, flexing. “What do you think? Does it look any stronger?” He nods at his bicep.
“Uh…sure?” I joke. Because I don’t see any change.
“Well, I think so.” He kisses it. “Be good to me, boys.” He kisses his other one.
I laugh, shaking my head. “As if your biceps have any magical power.”
“Of course they do.”
“Nope.”
“Okay, fine. What do you suggest I kiss for good luck?”
As soon as he realizes what he just said, the grin vanishes from his face and his cheeks get a little pink. My face feels warm, too.
But to keep things not weird between us, I say, “You can always kiss the trophy the old dance team won years ago. You know, the one inside the glass case in the hallway?”
Ryder thinks about it for a second before shaking his head. “I think my biceps are more powerful.” And he proceeds to kiss them again, which gets another chuckle out of me.
Like yesterday, the gym is thankfully empty. We choose the same area we practiced at yesterday and I set up the music. As we step into our starting position, I see the stress and worry on Ryder’s face. But most of all? I see his doubt.
“We’ll get it,” I assure him. “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You know that practice, practice, practice is key.”
“I’m just so disappointed and frustrated with myself.”
“One of the reasons I started the team was to have fun. It’ll suck if you’re not having any fun.”
“I am,” he promises. “I’ve been having loads of fun since day one, and now I’m having even more fun because we’re partners. But it drives me insane that I can’t do a simple lift. I won’t give up, though. I’ll stay here all night if I have to. Uh…I mean, if you agree to stay with me,” he adds with a sheepish laugh. “Because I can’t do it without you.”
“I’ll stay all night, too,” I tell him. “Whatever it takes to make it happen.”
“Thanks. Hopefully it won’t come to that.”
I play the music and we start the routine. We’ve practiced the first half of it so many times that we have it downperfectly, and I feel like I’m dancing on a professional stage. Since Ryder’s not stressing about this part, he dances in a carefree manner and completely lets go, allowing himself to become one with the music. He’s graceful when he needs to be and powerful at other times. It’s so wonderful to watch, and even more wonderful to share with him. It’s not every day I see him vulnerable like this, and I have to say I love it.
But as we get closer to the part he’s struggling with, his moves become less confident and he clutches my hands a little tightly. The stress on his face rises with every passing second. Itry to muster as much confidence as possible, hoping it will rub off on him. But I don’t know if it’s helping.
And then finally, it’s time for the lift. I spin a few times as I move away from him, then turn around and rush toward him. That same look of panic takes control of his face and when he grabs my waist, his hold is way too tight. I think he realizes it, too, because he quickly lets go of me and drops me to the ground. My jaw knocks into his shoulder, and we both cry out.
“Sorry!” He takes hold of my chin and tilts it from right to left, assessing for damage. “Are you okay?”
“That will be one quarter,” I say as I hold out my hand.
His brows dip. What? Oh.” He laughs lightly, despite the frustration in his eyes. “Right. I’m not supposed to ask if you’re okay.”
“Pay up.”
He holds out his hands helplessly. “Got no money.”
“That’s not really my problem, is it?” I joke, trying to wipe the disappointment from his face. But it’s far too strong. “Minor setback. That was the warm-up. Let’s try again.”
We spend about half an hour trying the move, but I’m sad to say that we don’t make much progress. Ryder gets too much in his head and is far too upset with himself, which doesn’t exactly help. He needs to have a clear head if he wants to perform the move successfully. But I have no idea how to pump him up with confidence.
