Page 75 of I Don't Need Your Protection
It’s not surprising that she had a nightmare about her parents. It was a hard day for her, seeing her peers with their parents, having to deal with a fake mother and father, feeling alone in the world.
“I was chasing them, too, but I couldn’t find them,” she continues. “Icouldn’tfind them.”
I hold her close, murmuring soothing words in her ear—that she’s safe, that everything is okay, that I’m here for her.
She glances up at me, tears dripping down her cheeks. “Iwas so scared.”
“I know,” I whisper as I wipe away her tears with my thumbs. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll never leave you.”
She stares into my eyes, and for a second, I think she’ll pull out of my arms. But she doesn’t. It’s like she feels safe and protected. But I’m clutching her too tightly, and loosen my hold.
“No.” She snuggles close to me, her warmth overwhelming me, and her scent tickling my nose. “Don’t let go.”
I reach for her elephant and place it in her hands, then tighten my arms back around her. “I’m not leaving until you want me to. I’ll stay with you even when you go back to sleep.”
She shakes her head against my chest. “I’m not going back to sleep.”
“You’ll have to. You have a whole week of school ahead of you.”
She buries her face deeper in my chest. “Why do you smell so good?” she whispers.
My heart gallops in my chest and the room is getting hotter by the minute. “Addie.” I loosen my hold.
“No, please.”
“Okay, I won’t let go. But you have to go back to sleep. You can’t stay awake all night.”
“I can.”
“Addie—”
“I can’t shut my eyes. The second I do, I see…I see…no! I won’t do it.”
I press my face in her neck and whisper, “I’mhere and I’ll protect you.”
She shakes her head again. “I’mnotgoing back to sleep.”
“Okay. Do you want to watch TV?”
She pushes herself even closer to me. “I want to stay here and I want you to stay with me.”
I nod. “All right.”
She gazes into my eyes. I stare right back into hers, making sure to hold her tightly because I want her to feel safe.
“Caleb?” she whispers.
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
“Just doing my job.”
She looks into my eyes again, then shakes her head. “No. It’s more than that. I bet you didn’t sign up to deal with my nightmares.”
No, I didn’t. But I don’t mind being here for her. Iwantto be here for her. Pushing some hair away from her eyes, I ask, “How long have you been having nightmares?”
“Since my parents died. It used to be worse, but it got better. Lately, it’s been more frequent.”
