Page 70 of I Don't Need Your Protection
“No, no, nothing like that,” I quickly say, cursing my luck for not being a better actress. “Things are great. My dad is stressed about his job and my mom…er, she has, um, bills.”
Carly gives me a confused look.
“Just the everyday stresses parents deal with, right?”
She nods. “I get it. And they must miss you like crazy, which doesn’t help with the stress.”
“Nope.”
Ugh, I hate lying to my friends. What would her parents say when they find out the truth? Would they be okay with the fact that I tricked them into believing Julie and Jonathon are my parents? Or would they be cool with it once they learned my life was at stake?
“So we should get going,” I tell my “parents” with a fake smile. “There’s still so much I want to show you.”
We say goodbye to Carly and her family and then I take my fake parents to my dorm. I feel so pathetic as I show them around, but I have to listen to what Caleb told me. The only way to keep myself safe is to stick with this charade.
As I show them the rest of campus and my favorite classes, I meet Raven and her family again, as well as Sophie’s. It’s obvious Sophie’s parents are protective of her, since she lost her two siblings.
The school set up various activities we can do with our parents, and of course there’s food. Carly’s brother and his friend basically spend all their time there, when they’re not annoying Carly. Sophie doesn’t leave her parents’ side once andRaven plays some of the games with her little sister. I feel so…lonely. And sad. And miserable.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell my fake parents. “Bathroom.”
Except, I don’t head to the bathroom. I run off toward the backyard, where, thankfully, not a soul is present. I plop down on one of the benches and wrap my arms around myself. The weather is pretty decent, with just a light wind, but the way I feel has nothing to do with the temperature.
Now that I’m alone, I finally have the freedom and privacy to let the tears fall. They burst out of my eyes like they broke through a dam and rain down my cheeks like a river. My parents have been dead for over a month, but it hasn’t gotten any easier. And now I have to witness everyone else celebrate theirs? Of course I’m happy for all of them, but it still hurts so darn much.
Someone lowers themselves beside me. I quickly wipe away the tears, assuming it’s my fake parents—I don’t want them to see me in tears and feel bad, or worse, report it to my grandfather—but then I smell a familiar scent. Caleb.
“I thought we’re not supposed to be seen in public,” I say.
“Fortunately, most people are preoccupied.”
We both sit in silence.
“Did you ditch your parents?” he asks.
“Are you going to report that to my grandfather?”
“Of course not. I understand what you’re going through.”
“Do you really?” I turn to face him. “Why aren’t your parents here, Caleb? For real.”
He keeps his eyes on the spot before him for a long time. Iassume he won’t answer my question, but then he says, “Like I told you, my dad has work. And my mom…” His voice trails off.
“Your mom?” I gently press.
“She died two years ago.”
I stare at him as my heart breaks for his loss. “You really do understand,” I whisper.
He nods slowly, still keeping his eyes on the spot in front of him. Then they slowly trek to mine, and I finally see emotions in his eyes. Pain and loss.
“Caleb, I’m so sorry.” I want to reach for his hand, but I curl my fists at my sides. I have a feeling he wouldn’t like me touching him. “Do you miss her?”
“Every day.”
“So it doesn’t get easier.” I lean back in my seat and release a pained sigh. “I don’t know why I thought it would.”
He turns to face me. “It gets a little easier, but the void in your heart is there to stay. Forever.”
