Page 92 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
“I have homework and stuff.”
“Okay…bye.”
The sad and confused tone in her voice shatters me inside, and all I want to do is turn around, gather her in my arms, and tell her I don’t want her to be with Finn. I want her to choose me. But once again, that’s selfish. What will it take for my heart to understand that Ican’tbe with her?
So forcing my emotions down, I leave her room. Her mom is in the kitchen, baking a cake.
“Hey, honey,” she says as she adds flour to a bowl. “Everything okay with you guys?”
It’s odd for me to stay for so short, so of course she’s curious why I’m leaving so early.
“Yeah, everything is great. That cake looks cool.”
She laughs as she glances at the bowl. “Let’s hope it turns out okay.” She studies me. “You sure everything is all right?”
I smile. “Yeah. I have a lot of homework. Have a good day, Mrs. West.”
“You, too, Brock.”
I wave and leave the house. I get on my bike, but stop before I put on my helmet because I feel someone watching me. Glancing up, I find Lexi at the window of her room. She looks at me and I look at her.
Forcing another smile, I wave.
She waves back, an expression on her face that I can’t read.
I put on my helmet, lift the visor to look at her again, then rev the engine. I wave one more time before zooming off.
I’m not in the mood to go home yet, so I drive around Edenbury to try to clear my head. I did the right thing. I know that. So why is this so hard?
How will I get over her?
No, I need to stop making this about myself. I was the one who left her. I was the one who ignored her. I have no right to cry and whine that we can’t be together.
If I was able to go back in time, I would tell my thirteen or fourteen-year-old self not to treat Lexi that way. We could have had a great friendship while I was in Boston. Even though I blamed her for Andy’s death, we could have worked through that. Maybe she would have helped me get over my guilt for hisdeath. Maybe I would have returned home earlier. Maybe she and I could have…
I shake my head. What’s the point of thinking about the past when I can’t change it? This is how things are now. I messed up and I need to live with the consequences.
I don’t know what Lexi will choose in the end. If she’ll try with Finn or reject his feelings. But whatever happens, I’ll support her one hundred percent. Even if it hurts. I just want her to be happy.
I ride for forty-five minutes before deciding I’ve had enough. Mom’s talking to her friend Manny Delgado on video chat and Dad’s working on his book.
“Brock.” Mom waves me over. “Manny wants to say hi.”
He was her best friend in high school and they’ve kept in touch over the years.
“Hey, Brock,” Manny says. “How are you doing?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“What kind of answer is that?” He’s trying to brighten my mood, but it isn’t exactly working. He’s a pretty upbeat person.
I push some bangs out of my eyes. “Sorry. I’m great.”
He laughs. “We’ll work on it.”
“My friend Theo has been asking me if he can beta test the new video game you’re working on. Says there are no more spots left. He’s very upset. And believe me, an upset Theo is a tragedy.”
He smiles. “There’s that Brock humor. Have him email me and I’ll see what I can do.”
