Page 116 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
“Hot!” I gasp as I reach for my milkshake and suck up the liquid. Finn’s face is as red as a tomato as he gulps down his drink, too, splattering liquid everywhere.
“This was really a mistake!” he sputters, gulping down more liquid.
“You’re such a wuss.”
“You’re the wuss.”
I almost snort up my drink, which has us both laughing.
As I grab a napkin and wipe my face, it hits me—itfinallyhits me. I see it as plain as day. I think my brain and heart have been trying to tell this to me the last few days, or maybe since the beginning. I’m having fun with Finn as a friend. For these pastfew minutes, I forgot that he and I are supposed to be on a date. I forgot that we’re supposed to be getting closer and determining if we’re meant to be. For the first time since we decided to get together, I’m actually having real fun. The kind of fun I used to have with him all the time. And you know what? I love it. It feelsright. I don’t want to have it any other way.
And the bigger truth I’ve been trying to deny myself this past week? There’s only one person who’s taken over my heart. One person I want to share my hopes and dreams with. One person I want to pour my heart out to. One person who gets me in a way no one else does. And whom I get, too.
One person who I strongly believe is my soulmate.
Finn’s laughter dies down when he realizes I’m not laughing anymore. “What is it?” he asks.
“This is wrong,” I say.
His brows dip. “Huh?”
I blink and shake my head. “Sorry. Finn, I don’t think this is working.”
“What?”
I gesture between us. “You and me. I’ve been trying so hard. Really, you have no idea how hard I’ve been trying to make it work. But it’s not working because it’s not right.”
His mouth moves, but no sound comes out. Then he says, “But we’re having a lot of fun together.”
“Of course we are. Because we’re best friends. But I don’t have deeper feelings than that. Think about it, Finn. We were just having so much fun a few seconds ago because we both let loose. It’s like we forgot for a second that we’re trying to be more than friends. It felt like old times again.”
He thinks about it for a few seconds. “Yeah, it did feel like old times,” he whispers.
I take his hand. “I didn’t want to admit it before, but I know deep down that it’s true. There’s only one person I have feelingsfor. I know you said you don’t think it’s healthy for me, but I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t force myself not to feel, or to have feelings for someone else. Finn…” I squeeze his hand. “I know you have feelings for me. I wish I felt the same way, but it’s not right to continue on like this if I don’t feel the way you want me to feel. It’s not fair to either of us.”
He slowly pulls his hand away from mine and takes a small bite of his burger, his brain seeming to run with thoughts. I brace myself for the pain that I know will engulf him, but he doesn’t seem to carry any pain at all. Actually, he almost looks relieved.
“You’re right,” he says.
My brows furrow. “I am?”
“I’ve known all this time that you don’t have feelings for me, but I pushed away the truth because I didn’t want to believe it. Because I hoped and dreamed for things to be different. But you’re right—you can’t force yourself to feel a certain way, or force someone to feel something they don’t.” He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. “I know you have strong feelings for Brock. It’s so obvious. But I care a lot about you, Lexi. I guess I’ve grown very overprotective of you. But I shouldn’t have convinced you to give me a shot if you didn’t feel that way about me. And I shouldn’t have told Brock to let you go. I guess I just wanted to protect you. I didn’t want you to get hurt again, because you were so hurt after Brock left.”
“Wait a second.” I hold up my hand. “What do you mean you talked to Brock?”
He keeps his gaze on his burger. “I spoke to him last week and basically…” He sighs. “I basically told him that all he’s doing is hurting you. That he hurt you when he left for Boston and then continued hurting you when he ignored you. And when you finally started getting over all the pain, he dropped back in andturned everything upside down. But maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do.”
“Wait. You spoke to Brock about me behind my back? Who gave you the right to do that?”
His face holds nothing but guilt. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“I’m not a little kid, Finn. You can’t make those kinds of decisions for me. I’m the only one who can decide who’s right for me. You had no right.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. But you have to admit that you’re a little obsessed with him. Lexi, don’t get upset. You’ve been obsessed with Brock ever since he left for Boston. Your whole life revolved around him. All you did was hope that he would call or text you. The guys and I were worried you would never get over him. And when it finally looked like you did, he crashed back into your life. And the whole cycle repeated itself. You were obsessing over him again.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, and you know it. Last week when I asked you if you wanted to try with me? Every other sentence that came out of your mouth was about Brock. I’m not trying to be a jerk here. You know that I love Brock. But I don’t think it’s healthy that he’s the center of your universe. And I’m not just saying that because I like you.”
