Page 113 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
I was tossing and turning last night, too. There are just too many confusing thoughts and feelings overwhelming me.
Finn and I hung out a lot the last few days. Of course we had a good time—because we always have fun together—but my feelings still haven’t changed. Does that mean he and I are not right for each other?
Did I give him a real shot?
I don’t want to give up on him, though. A part of me still tries to convince myself that wecanbe right for each other. We just need…what, exactly? More time together? Is a person supposed to just give up when things don’t go the way she wants? Or should she fight for it? If it’s something I really, really want, I should never give up. The only question is—do I really want it?
I thought I would know how I felt by now, but clearly not. Yesterday, Finn asked me out to Mikey’s after school today, so hopefully I might have some clarity then. I hope.
Mom is preparing eggs when I come downstairs. She smiles when she sees me, “Good morning, sweetie. I feel like I haven’t seen you all week. You were out of the house practically every day.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I say as I lower myself at the table and reach for a glass of orange juice. “I hung out with Finn.”
Mom makes her way to the table with the eggs and sits down next to me. “Oh? I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with Finn.”
“Yeah, I guess we’re, um, getting to know each other better.” I put some eggs on my plate.
Mom’s thoughtful as she sticks her fork into her eggs. “What about Brock?”
“We’re friends. Best friends.”
“I see.”
It’s obvious on Mom’s face that she’s surprised and confused. She knows how I feel about Brock. But she doesn’t want to pry.
Offering me a smile, she says, “I just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks. What about you? Did you bond with any other guys over pasta sauce?”
She chuckles. “No, I can’t say that I have.”
“So no date on the horizon?”
“Nothing in the foreseeable future.”
I try not to let the disappointment show. I really want my mom to meet someone amazing. “Aren’t there like tons of single teachers at the elementary school?”
Mom almost chokes on her coffee. “Lexi! I can’t have a relationship with a coworker.”
“Why not? Office romances are the best. Ooh, what about a single dad? Single dad romances are cool, too.”
Mom’s brow rises. “Since when are you into all that romance stuff?”
“I’m not,” I say with a nervous laugh. But I might have watched a romance movie or two over the last few days. I guess they reminded me of Brock, since he said he likes to be romantic. “Anyway, we’re talking about me and not you.”
Mom shakes her head. “You don’t have to worry about me, honey. I believe that if I’m meant to meet another guy, I’ll meethim at the right time. But I’m content with my life the way it is. I have amazing kids and a wonderful job. I couldn’t be happier.”
I get up from my chair to wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek. “I know. But no one wants to be lonely.”
She rubs my hair. “I’ll be okay, Lexi. Everything will work out in the end.”
As I return to my seat, her last words spin around in my head.Everything will work out in the end. Does that always happen in life? Will I know if Finn is the right guy for me?
I finish my breakfast, wish Mom a good day, then make my way outside to sit on the steps. Finn asked me yesterday if I wanted to ride to school with him alone—he said he was sure the guys would understand, now that they know we’re together. But I told him I loved our morning tradition. Even though he and I are growing closer, I don’t want things to change too much. I still want the other guys in my life.
My ears perk up when I hear an engine in the distance. Sounds like a motorcycle. My heart nearly catapults out of my chest. Is that Brock?
Leaping off the stairs, I move closer to the street and stretch my neck to the direction of the sound. A few seconds later, I spot the bike zooming down my block. My heart gallops in my chest, gaining speed with every passing second. But it doesn’t slow down. And when it passes, I realize that the bike isn’t Brock’s—it doesn’t look like it at all.
