Page 93 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
“Cool. I’ll text him later.”
He tells me news about the other video games he’s working on and how his two sons and wife are doing. As he speaks, I feel Mom watching me.
“What?” I ask her.
She throws her arm around me. “Look at my youngest, Manny,” she complains. “He’s growing up so quickly.”
“Mom.” I pull away. “Not cool, come on.”
Manny chuckles. “Bailey, you’re embarrassing him.”
“I don’t care.” She squeezes me close. “My little Brocky.”
“You promised to quit with that,” my muffled voice says.
“Give your mom a break, kid,” Manny says with another laugh. “She loves you to pieces. You’ll understand if you have kids one day.”
Lexi’s face pops into my head, but I shove her away. What the heck is my brain—or heart—doing? Picturing a possible future with Lexi?
Mom’s arm drops from around me. “You okay, sweetie? You’re shaking.” Placing her fingers under my chin, she tilts my head from side to side to make sure I’m not damaged.
“I’m fine, Mom.” I turn to Manny. “Was nice talking to you again. I’m going to my room to do my homework.”
“Wow. Homework? Good for you,” Manny says. “I can’t get my kids to open a book on the weekends.” He waves. “Good luck and have fun, Brock.”
“Thanks.”
Before I leave, Mom pulls me into her arms again, squeezing the life out of me.
“Mom,” I groan.
“Okay. I’m just glad you’re here, that’s all.”
I understand what she means. She’s glad I’m here—as in, I didn’t hurt myself four years ago. She’s also glad I’m back home and not in Boston. But mostly, I’m pretty sure she’s glad and relieved that I’m doing okay.
I hug her back. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lexi
There’s only one thing on my mind over the entire weekend: my conversation with Brock.
I never expected him to tell me he thinks Finn could be a good boyfriend to me. Does that mean that Brock doesn’t…that he hasn’t…?
I guess he doesn’t like me as more than a friend.
Which is okay. I mean, it hurts a lot, but I can’t force him to have feelings for me just because I have feelings for him, no matter how much I yearn for it. Maybe the only thing Brock and I could ever be is friends. Best friends. The closest friends on the planet. Brock has been through so much and might not be in the right head space for a girlfriend—he admitted that a few weeks ago. It wouldn’t be right for me, or for him, to wait until he’s ready. Like Finn told me before Brock came back, I might wait for him forever. I would never really live.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. Could that happen if I hang onto my feelings for Brock?
Like Finn said, I need to let him go. Even if I don’t want to. I can’t hang onto a dream or a wish that may never come true. I think I’m mature enough now to understand that. Even if it makes me feel like my insides are being squashed.
But can I see myself with Finn? I’ve been pushing it away ever since he admitted he liked me because it’s too stressful to think about it. I’ve always seen him as a friend, but to have that all come crumbling down? There’s been so much change in my life and it felt safe to have at least some things that would never change—like my friends. But then Finn rocked the boat.
Finn is a really good guy. He’s always been there for me. I guess if I think about it, I might have gotten just a bit closer tohim than the other guys after Brock left to Boston. I care about him a lot.
If I want to be honest with myself, Icansee myself with Finn. I know he’ll do whatever he can to make sure I’m happy, because that’s what he’s been doing the past four years. And I would do the same for him. What if he and I are meant to be? Could I possibly lose him because I’m scared to try? I might regret that for the rest of my life. I mean, we don’t have to rush into anything because we’re still young, but maybe giving him a shot might change my life forever. Maybe it’ll bring me a happiness I didn’t think I could have with anyone other than Brock.
