Page 85 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
I can argue that I do, but maybe he’s right. He was there for her these past four years. I wasn’t. He knows exactly what she needs, how to make her happy. And if I’m holding her back, then I need to keep my distance and let her spread her wings.
Finn gives me a guilty look. “I’m really sorry for all this. I’m just protecting Lexi and doing what I feel is best for her.”
I just nod because I can’t speak. A part of me wants to fight for her—how dare he tell me what to do and who to have feelings for? But I’ve seen myself how Lexi pushes me first. How she cares about my happiness and how I’m feeling.
“I…” I clear my throat. “I get it.”
“Man, I feel like a jerk.”
“No. You’re right. I have no idea what she’s been through. WhatIput her through. Thanks for looking out for her and for being with her and for not giving me crap for all the mistakes I made. And thanks for being honest with me.”
He nods. “You’re my friend. Are we good?”
“Yeah.” I force a smile. “We’re good.”
He gets to his feet. “I’d better head home. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
He leaves my room.
I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, Finn’s words looping around in my head. I can’t bear the thought of losing Lexi, but that might happen if I let my feelings go beyond friendship. I’ll keep my distance, but I’ll still be her friend.
Footsteps sound outside my room before Dad peeks in. He’s got a basket full of clean laundry in his hands. “You okay? You look a little down.”
“Fine.”
“What did Finn want?”
I shrug. “An assignment.”
He studies me for a bit before nodding and putting my clothes on my bed for me to put away later. He probably figures I’m not in a chatty mood.
Before he leaves, he pats my arm.
Tears flash in my eyes as I roll over to my side. I can’t believe I ruined Lexi’s life. How could I be so horrible?
***
“Dean, wait up,” I call the next morning at school. He and the others have just unloaded from Finn’s van. We exchanged greetings and I gave Lexi the best smile I could. My lips trembled a bit. She looked a little confused, but the others dragged her toward her locker.
Dean stays behind, looking at me. “Hey, Brock.”
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
I was up all night, trying to figure out if Finn is manipulating me. Maybe heisusing Lexi’s pain as a way to get with her.
“How was Lexi these past four years?” I ask him. “Please tell me the truth. Was she in a lot of pain?”
His eyebrows furrow and he shifts from one foot to the other. “I mean, yeah. She was so sad all the time. It was almost like a part of her died, you know?” His eyes widen. “Sorry. I don’t mean to offend you.”
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. So you’re saying she was hurt and upset? All the time?”
“She’d push her feelings aside when all of us would hang out, but yeah, she was always sad. Like she couldn’t move on.”
I swallow deeply. “Because of me.”
