Page 17 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
“Yeah.”
She glances around the room, then gets to her feet and heads to one of the photos pasted on the right side of her mirror. After plucking it off, she makes her way back to me. “Remember this?” She passes it to me. It’s a photo of me, the guys, and Lexi at her tenth birthday party. She invited the entire class, but had a separate party the next day just for the eight of us. We’re all covered in cake and have goofy smiles on our faces.
“Seems so long ago,” I muse.
“Yeah. I mean, so much has happened.”
I nod, my throat tight.
“But at least we’re all together again, right?” she says with a bright smile. Her eyes light up. “Remember how much you loved playing basketball? You never liked playing against me or the guys because you said we sucked so much. Like, we weren’t challenging enough for you. But then Andy challenged you to play and you met your match and…” Her eyes widen as her voice trails off. “I mean…sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
I avert my gaze, trying to shove the memories away. The guys, Lexi, and I were at the park shooting hoops when we were twelve. And I was complaining to them that they made itsoboring because I beat them in two seconds. Then Andy strolled over to us and told me he bet he could demolishmein two seconds. Being the competitive little devil that I was, I told him he was on. I ended up winning and I gained a new basketball challenger, but more importantly, I got a new friend.
Then he died several months later. The images are as clear as they were that day, as if no time has passed.
I shut my eyes as what feels like a million knives stab my stomach. Why does everything remind me of him?
“Brock…I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay.” I force a smile, the corners of my lips trembling. I get to my feet. “I should probably go home.”
“Are you sure?”
“See you tomorrow at school.”
I feel her sad and hurt eyes on me as I leave her room. I want to turn around, I want to be normal. I want to be the guy she remembers. But as much as I try, I can’t be him. I can’t just go on living my life like a happy person. I’m not that guy anymore. And I doubt I ever will be.
Chapter Seven
Lexi
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Ugh, what on Earth possessed me to bring up Andy? I told myself a million times since Brock came back that I would never mention Andy. If Brock brought him up, I would be okay talking about him—whatever Brock needs.
I guess it felt like old times, when I could tell him anything and everything. He never judged me or made me feel embarrassed. But how many times do I need to tell myself that things will never be like old times? I might have ruined things between us even more. Brock looked so sad…
With a sigh, I fall down on my bed and hug my whale plushie to my chest, battling the tears threatening to burst out of my eyes. For the past four years, I tried so hard to push away the memories of that awful day. Some days were successful while other days…not so much.
Squishing the whale to my chest, I once again battle the memory. But I’m so weak. So broken. I give in and let the memory flood into my brain.
It was the summer before seventh grade. Some of the guys stayed in Edenbury while others went to camp or were on vacation with their families. Brock and I were supposed to spend the entire summer together, just like we did in previous summers. But things were very different that summer. There was a new kid in the picture—Andy Hansen.
He hung out with the group throughout the year, but he and Brock got super close. It bothered me at first because I loved when Brock and I hung out just the two of us, but he always made sure to spend enough time with me, too. That was in the beginning, though. As the year passed, he spent more time withAndy and less time with the rest of the guys. Less time with me. I didn’t realize the pain grew inside me, bigger and bigger. I held it all in until I...exploded.
That life-altering day, I went over to Brock’s house to ask him if he wanted to go with me to the theater to watch a new documentary about ocean life. I thought he would jump at the opportunity because we both loved ocean life and were super excited about the documentary. But when I entered his room, he seemed surprised and confused to see me.
“What are you doing here?” he asks from where he sits at his desk with a book.
With a grin, I hop onto his bed and bounce a few times. “Look!” I hold out a page from the morning newspaper with all the movie listings. “The ocean life documentary is playing in an hour. Let’s go! We can buy that disgusting theater candy you love so much. My mom gave me enough money for a ticket plus snacks!”
He just stares at the newspaper page.
“Can your mom drive us?” I urge. “I want to buy tickets before they’re sold out. Or can you ask her to buy them online? Ugh, I can’t wait until my mom buys me a phone.”
His eyes slowly lift to my face, and his cheeks and neck grow pink. His face has been red a lot lately. I don’t understand why. I thought maybe he was sick or something at first, but it’s been happening for weeks. Maybe even months.
“No,” he says, gaze dropping to his paperback.
