Page 130 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
I shrug. “I was the one who hurt her. I shut her out for four years. I treated her like garbage. It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“But you apologized and you guys were getting friendly, right? It’s obvious Lexi forgives you.”
“Yeah, she told me more than once that she does. But how can Inotfeel guilty every time she’s around me? I hurt her so badly.”
“You can’t eat yourself up over this forever, Brock. You need to come to terms with what happened and move on.” He gets up and pats my back. “It’s important for Lexi to decide what she wants, but you also have to decide what you want. You want to be with her, right?”
I nod. “More than anything. But I don’t want her to be with me just because I want to be with her.”
“That’s true. The best you kids can do is take a break like you’re doing, and once you’re ready to talk, tell her how you feel. You both need to communicate and be honest with each other.”
I nod. “Whenever she’s ready, however long it takes. I just want to make sure she’s putting herself first.”
Uncle Brayden pats my back again. “I know this is hard, but hang in there.”
I sigh heavily. “I’ll try.”
“You’d better get to class. Unless there’s anything else you want to talk about?”
I shake my head. “I’m good. Thanks.”
He writes me a note and hands it to me. Before I leave, he encloses me in a strong hug. “Please don’t shut your parents out, all right? They love you and want what’s best for you.”
My insides prick with guilt. “I don’t mean to shut them out. I’m just so confused all the time. And I don’t want to worry them.”
He places his hands on my shoulders. “I get it. But they need to know if something is bothering you. They just want to help you.”
I nod. “Okay. Thanks for everything.”
“Of course.”
I go to my class and the day passes like usual. The guys, Lexi, and I eat lunch together. Things are kind of okay because we’re in a huge group. Lexi and I exchange a few words, but it’s mostly just in conversation with everyone else. I can’t help but wonder how she feels about us, but since she’s not bringing it up, I know she needs more time.
Later, when I’m home, I gather Mom and Dad on the living room couch and tell them about me and Lexi. How we’re taking a break and deciding what we want. They hug me and tell me everything will be okay. They believe that whatever is meant to happen will happen.
Tears flash in my eyes as I glance from Mom to Dad. “I keep telling myself that I’ll need to let her go if she decides she doesn’t want to be with me. But how can I do that? It’ll hurt so much.”
Mom hugs me from one side and Dad from the other. “Don’t think like that, Brock,” Mom says in a soft voice. “Don’t decide for her before she has a chance to think about what she wants. Don’t think the worst.”
“I’m just preparing myself, I guess.”
Dad squeezes me close. “Why torture yourself like this? Maybe she’ll decide shedoeswant to be with you.”
More tears fill my eyes. “Because it’ll destroy me if she doesn’t.”
Mom and Dad hug me a lot, kissing my cheek and forehead. The truth is that they don’t know what to say because it’s all upto Lexi. No one can force her to choose me. It’s like I keep telling myself—she needs to do what’s best for her.
“You’ll be okay, Brocky,” Mom murmurs as she holds me close. “Everything will be okay.”
Dad squishes me, too.
I feel so loved and cared for that I don’t care that Mom’s calling me Brocky. I shouldn’t have shut them out. I know I don’t have to tell them everything, but I want them to be part of my life. I want to be close to them like we used to be.
They’ve been through something similar when they were my age and it turned out okay. Maybe they’re right and everything will turn out okay in the end for me, too.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lexi
