Page 117 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
I want to yell at him. Is this the reason why Brock has been so distanced? Because Finn basically told him that he was ruining my life? Who gave him the right to do that? Poor Brock. He must have been agonizing himself the last week, blaming himself for hurting me. He knows that he hurt me the past four years and he feels awful about it. I assured him that I was okay, that I understood. And I know he was thankful that I forgave him. He was hopeful we could fix what was broken between us. Then Finn shattered it all.
But I have to admit that there’s truth to Finn’s words. Brock has become the center of my life. My guilt over what I said the day of Andy’s death has haunted me for years, and maybe I felt like I needed to make it up to Brock. To somehow erase all the bad stuff that happened and replace them with good stuff. Fun moments together and sweet, encouraging words. Brock still might be the right one for me, but maybe there’s too much pain and baggage. Maybe it isn’t healthy for us to be together. How am I supposed to know what the right thing to do is?
Finn looks so guilty. I reach for his hand again and gently squeeze it. “I’m not mad at you, Finn. I understand you did it from a good place. You just wanted to make sure I was okay and to protect me. You’re a good guy with a good heart. But you shouldn’t have gone behind my back like that. You should have spoken to me first.”
“I tried,” he whispered.
“I know.” I squeeze his hand again. “And I’m thankful that you care about both Brock and me. But this is something I need to figure out on my own. It’s something Brock and I need to figure out on our own.”
With a swallow, he nods. “I’m really sorry, Lexi. I messed up big time.”
I give him a smile. “It’s okay. But this isn’t only about me. This is about you, too. I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings. I don’t want you to be hurt.”
He gives me a brave smile. “I’m okay. I just want you to be happy. I want Brock to be happy. If you guys can be happy together, I’m all for it.”
“You really feel that way?”
“I do,” he says, and his words sound purely genuine.
I get up from my chair and wrap my arms around him. “Thanks so much, Finn. I’m so glad I have a friend like you.”
“And I’m glad I have a friend like you. Are you going to tell Brock how you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I may have feelings for him, but you might be right. Maybe we can’t have a healthy relationship, no matter how much we want it. Well, assuming he wants it, too.”
He snorts. “The guy is crazy about you.”
A swarm of butterflies invades my stomach. “Maybe.” I shake my head. “I’m just so confused.”
Finn nods in understanding.
We’re both quiet. I lower myself in my seat, too many thoughts crowding my mind. I think my brain might explode.
“Do you want to go home?” he asks.
“I think…I think I need to talk to Brock.”
“Yeah, that might be a good idea.”
We ask Macy to pack our food away, including the fries, which Finn will give to his brother. Then we get in the car and he drives me to Brock’s house.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Brock
I’m on my bed, leaning against the wall as I video chat with Zoey. As much as I love talking to her, I can’t seem to concentrate, and there’s only one reason for that.
My sister bends toward her phone screen. “Looks like you’re not even here. Brock?”
Snapping back in, I look at her. “What did you ask me?”
“I don’t even know. Been calling your name for like five minutes.”
My gaze drops to my bed. “Guess I’m distracted. Sorry.”
She sighs heavily. “Here I am, taking time away from my busy schedule to talk to my little bro and he doesn’t have time for me.” Her tone is light, so I know she’s kidding around. “But really, what’s wrong?”
“Everyone keeps asking me that. Mom and Dad are always checking in with me. I mean, I can’t blame them. I’ve been quiet and they’re worried.”
