Page 83 of Certified Pressure
“Yeah, you are,” I said. “You been spiraling ever since he took me to meet his mama, and you can try to act like it ain’t got nothing to do with you, but I see it all over you.”
“Yeah, he took you to meet his mama but turned right around and took me out the states where he ate my pussy and fucked me good, so clearly you didn’t leave the impression you thought you did if he didn’t take you nowhere else after that,” she replied coldly.
For a second, it felt like the words slapped me harder than her hand ever could have. My stomach flipped and my chest burned, not because I believed her, but because she’d even say some foul shit like that to me after everything we’ve been through. The part of me that used to call her my sister wanted to ask her why she went that low, but the part of me standing here in this mansion with all these eyes on us was too pissed to let it show.
My whole body went hot. “Wow… so that’s where we at now? You really think that’s cute to say to me? After all the shit we been through, that’s what you throw in my face? You a weak-ass bitch for that.” I could feel my voice shaking, not from fear, but because I wanted to swing on her right then. “If that’s the only thing you got to hold over my head, then you already lost. And if you really wanna keep it a buck, after you threw that tantrumwhen I came back from his mama’s he didn’t have a choice but to take you out of town just to shut you up. It’s sad that you don’t know what sympathy dick look like.”
“It don’t matter what you think, and girl you don’t even know what an actual dick look like, so miss me with all that sympathy bullshit. We not friends and I don’t owe you shit,” Kashmere said, her voice sharp.
That hit me harder than I thought it would. My throat felt tight, but I wasn’t about to let her see me break. “Nah, I guess we not. Friends don’t act like this toward each other.”
Her eyes were glossy now, and mine were starting to burn the same way. The more we spoke, the more it felt like all the years of being close, all the nights of sharing secrets, all the loyalty we had for each other was getting ripped up right here in front of everybody.
Toni and Zaniyah were watching close now, sensing this was way more personal than just some petty argument. Kashmere took a small step forward, and I mirrored her without thinking. We were so close I could feel her breath when she spoke.
“You wanna make me the bad guy, go ahead,” she said. “But don’t forget who always had your back.”
That broke something in me, because it was true. And maybe that’s what made it hurt so bad. “And don’t forget,” I said calmly but firmly, “who had yours.”
For a moment, neither of us said anything. Our eyes stayed locked, both of us breathing heavy, both of us fighting the tears we didn’t want to let fall. But the more we stood there, the closer it felt like this was about to turn physical. My hands were balled into fists, and I could see hers were too.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Zaniyah’s voice came sharp as she stepped between us, her hands pushing lightly at our shoulders to create some space. “Y’all about to fight like two random bitches in the street, and it’s not worth it.”
Kashmere was still staring at me over Zaniyah’s shoulder, her chest rising and falling fast. I didn’t even recognize the way she was looking at me anymore, and that realization almost knocked the wind out of me.
I took a step back because I was done. I couldn’t believe it had come to this between us. This wasn’t just an argument. This was the end of something that used to matter to both of us.
I turned away before I could say anything else I would regret, and as I walked off, I felt the tears finally spill down my cheeks. My steps were fast, my hands still tight at my sides, but my heart was aching, like I’d just lost more than a friend. It felt like I lost the last bit of peace I had left in this house.
That night, I sat on the patio, seething at the thought of Kashmere’s words. No matter how many times I tried to push them out of my head, they stayed on repeat like a song I couldn’t turn off.He ate my pussy and fucked me good.It wasn’t just the way she said it, it was the smugness in her voice, like she wanted to stamp it into my memory and make sure it stung every single time I thought about it.
I wasn’t jealous. At least, I didn’t want to be. I knew Pressure could do whatever the hell he wanted with whoever he wanted. I knew Kashmere wasn’t the first, and she sure wouldn’t be the last woman in his bed. But something about her throwing it in my face like that… it made me feel like she thought giving him sex automatically made her better than me. And maybe in her eyes it did, because she knew I hadn’t done that with him.
That was the part that cut deep. I was still a virgin, and it wasn’t something I was embarrassed about, but I couldn’t deny that in a house like this, surrounded by women who would doanything to keep Pressure’s attention, it made me feel like I was walking into a fight without the same weapons they had. I hated that Kashmere knew that about me, and I hated even more that she used it like ammunition.
The night air was warm but calm, and the sound of crickets filled the space around me. I gripped the armrest of my chair and stared out past the railing, trying to think about anything else. But the fight kept playing in my head—her face, her tone, the way she stood there like she was daring me to crumble. I should have swung on her. I wanted to. But the truth was, the hurt went deeper than my fists could reach.
While deep in my thoughts and my feelings, I heard footsteps behind me, and I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Pressure’s presence was different from everybody else’s. It had weight to it, and it made my chest feel tight before he even said a word.
He moved past my chair and sat down in the one next to mine, a blunt in one hand and a glass in the other. The scent of the smoke drifted over to me, and was comforting in a way I couldn’t explain.
“You good?” he asked, his voice low but clear.
“Yeah,” I said, even though my tone was dry and unconvincing even to my own ears.
He took a slow pull from his blunt and exhaled, then glanced my way. “You talk to Zurie today?”
That made me look at him. “Yeah. She’s okay.”
He nodded, almost like he was relieved, and I felt something warm settle in my chest. The fact that he asked about my sister, the one person in this world I would give everything for meant more to me than I could say. People didn’t usually remember the things that mattered to me, but he did.
After a moment, I asked, “You good?”
“I’m straight,” he said simply, leaning back in his chair. I could tell he wasn’t about to get into details, but I knew he’d been dealing with more than he let on.
We sat in silence for a while, the sound of the night filling the space between us. My hands fidgeted in my lap, and I tried to ignore the way my heart picked up just from him being this close.
Finally, I spoke. “I’m a little scared.”
