Page 97 of Enemies with Benefits
Then I was pulling out, and he gave a slight sigh that he always gave when that happened. The sound almost...wistful. I frowned. “Why do you do that?"
He adjusted his pants, turning to look at me with a stitched brow of confusion. “Do what?"
"You..." I trailed off, trying to figure out how to put it. I'd spoken before thinking about how intimate the question felt. Not that I could really nail down why. The idea, vague as it was, came from the same place as so many of my other ideas came from, some deep part of me that spoke in the quietest voicebut only vaguely guiding me rather than leading. "I don't know, make this weird sound whenever I...pull out, I guess."
He smirked, but even I could see it didn't have its normal sharp, sarcastic edge to it as he looked me over and then shrugged. "There's a certain unpleasant feeling that goes with it. A weird emptiness. Other than that, it's hard to explain. You'd have to go through it."
I shifted uncomfortably at the thought, sure it hadn't been that bad with just a couple of fingers, but the idea of more...well, it didn't sit well in my head. "Oh. I guess I'll have to take your word for it."
Mason watched me for a moment, the corners of his mouth turning up further. “You know, you can just say you're not interested in bottoming. I'm not going to string you up by your nuts and hang you out for everyone to see."
I raised a brow. “Mason, you've been basically doing that since we first met."
"Yeah, because you've never been a ball buster."
"Not for anyone but you."
"Somehow, I don't think that's true. Look, I know I'm a jackass, but you're a hardass son of a bitch," he snorted, arching a brow. "You'll bust someone's balls if you think someone's fucking around too much or looks at you funny."
I tried to shoot him a filthy look, but even I could feel how weak it was from how little my muscles pulled. “Fuck off."
He laughed, surprising me by how fond it sounded, and downright shocking me by the warm feeling that tugged at my chest to pool down to my gut. "You do realize that when you say shit like that to people, they automatically know that they're right and you have precisely zero argument to throw back at them."
"Fuck. Off."
"As fucked up as it sounds, to me at least, it's kind of cute how you try to play things off. Okay, maybe 'play off' isn't the right wording, considering you just growl and scratch at everything like a wet cat."
"You really want me to deck you, don't you?"
"Maybe you should hold off on that," he said with the smirk I had always hated. Though nowadays I hated it because it wasn't just irritating on its own, but irritating because it always sent a small thrill through me. Arrogance and sarcasm had never been a turn-on for me, and yet somehow, Mason of all people managed to make it attractive. If there was ever a question of whether there was something wrong with me, then that was a sure enough sign. "Because I'm not quite recovered enough for another bout of foreplay."
I groaned. “Don't call it that."
"What?"
"The fighting."
"Don't call it foreplay?"
"Yeah."
"Why? After this much time, that's basically what it is."
"That's honestly the most unhealthy thing I've ever heard."
"I've heard of worse."
"Really? You've heard of worse than two people beating each other up before fucking? I mean, I've heard of it, I grew up around it, and I've been called to homes for the same fucking problem."
"There are worse things."
"Yes, but still?—"
He shrugged, and again I had to wonder how the hell he managed to roll with everything so well. "So it's not great, who cares? We could just be beating each other's asses for the fun of beating each other up. At least now we have other ways of expressing ourselves."
"That's...not better."
"Then obsess about it, if it makes you feel better, even though I'm pretty sure it's doing the complete opposite. Everyone has their own way of dealing with their issues, and we have ours. Maybe it'll change, maybe it won't, I don't fucking know. But I'm not going to sit around and worry that I'm not doing something in the exact way someone else says I should."
