Page 63 of The Monsters Within
“To deal with their shit. Both Reaper and Montana will want to claim you and your brother. They’ll fight over who you belong to.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.”
I pulled her against my chest. “You fucking belong to me. And the Silver Shadows. Don’t ever forget that.” I kissed her neck. “Even if you weren’t my old lady, you’re Mimic’s sister. There isn’t a man in this club who won’t stand beside you or in front of you and have your back no matter what.”
“I love you, Cash.”
“I love you, too, baby,” I assured her as I nuzzled her neck. I could already feel my dick getting hard. I would never get enough of this woman.
“Cash, I don’t think you understand how hard that is for me to say. My whole life I’ve been looking for a place to belong. I love Val and the Nyght Nymphs, don’t get me wrong. They’ve been my family for a long time. I love my brother, and I can’t tell you how incredibly happy I am that I finally found him.”
She paused. Her hands rubbed over mine. “But it’s different with you. What I feel isn’t the same.”
“Thank fuck for that.”
She slapped the hand covering her breast. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, baby. I know exactly what you mean.” I took a deep breath before I confessed to her. “I loved Rachel.” I waited for her to tense up, for her to get scared of what I might say. But she stayed limp in my arms, relaxed against me. “I met her shortly after we set up the chapter here. It was supposed to be one night. But we hit it off and after a year, I asked her to be my old lady.
“I was happy. I was content to live my life with her and the club. But what I didn’t realize was that something was missing. I didn’t know until she died. The hole she left behind wasn’t just from losing her. It was from losing everything I thought we would have together.
“It wasn’t until she was gone and I read her letter that I realized what was missing. A future. She knew we didn’t haveone. And I was so fucking angry with her because of it. That she had made me fall in love with her knowing we wouldn’t have forever.”
“You were her forever,” she said quietly.
“I was her forever. And you are mine.” I turned her in my arms so she straddled me and I could look into her eyes. “Rachel came into my life to teach me about love. She taught me what it meant to put someone first. To protect them and to worship them. But she protected me, too.
“I believe with everything in me that she stepped into my life knowing you weren’t ready yet. She loved me until you could. You aren’t a replacement for her, Rose. You were always meant to be mine, but there were things I needed to do, things I needed to learn before I could love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
I pressed my lips to hers softly, licking the seam until she opened up and let me in. I deepened the kiss before pulling back.
Searching her eyes, I said, “I want you to meet her, Rose. I want you to come to the cemetery with me.”
Chapter Nineteen
Kytten
We pulled into the familiar lot. The last time I was here I was hiding behind a tomb, listening to him talk to her. I had never done this before. Never been to a cemetery and talked to the dead.
I knew my mother was dead. I didn’t know how or where, but I knew who. Now, I even suspected the reason why. One day he would be dead, too. He wouldn’t get a grave, though. Not one anyone knew about. He didn’t deserve mourners. He didn’t deserve people to grieve for him.
The feel of his hand on my leg centered me, and I let go of the breath I had inadvertently held on to.
“You okay?”
“Yea.” I tried to smile. He hated my fake smile, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for a real smile either. He leaned back and pulled my face forward, kissing me.
“Come on.” I climbed off the bike, and he followed. Taking my hand, he led me down the path to her grave. I didn’t know why I was nervous. I knew she wasn’t really here. Did a ghost still have the power to judge you? Would she find me as lacking as I found myself?
We stopped in front of the marble stone. Her name was carved in a flourish unlike the block lettering of the graves around her.
“Hey, Rach. I miss you, babe. So much.”
My eyes filled with tears at hearing the way he spoke to her. It was strange, though. They weren’t from jealousy, but from pain. I could feel his pain, his loss, and my heart ached for him.
“This is Rose.” He turned to me and smiled with tears in his eyes. “My old lady.” When he turned back, he continued speaking to her. “She’s a little shy, but you’d like her, babe. She’s a badass who saves women and children from abuse. Oh, and get this, she’s Mimic’s baby sister.”
I elbowed him, and he laughed. “Okay, he’s only older by twenty minutes, but it still counts.” He squeezed my hand. I still hadn’t spoken a word. “Mimic has a twin sister; can you believe that? Yeah, and he’s only twenty-one. Which means he was sixteen when he showed up at the club. You were right, babe.”
