Page 88 of The Monsters Within
“Exhausted, but free. I feel like I am finally able to scream.”
It was a strange feeling, knowing I could scream if I wanted to. If I needed to. But also, not feeling like I had to. I felt safe here. In his arms. In this room.
In this clubhouse.
For the first time in years, I felt like I could breathe. Like I could be myself. Cash did that for me. He saw me when no one else did. I rolled over in his arms so I could look at him.
“Thank you.”
“For what, baby?”
“For seeing me. For wanting me. For loving me. You’ve given me so much. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have my brother. I would never have told anyone what Syrena did. No one would know I was hurting myself. You taught me how to trust again.”
“You don’t stop knowing how to trust, Rose. Sometimes it’s just harder to know who to trust. I want to believe you can trust Val, and maybe you can. But something held you back from that. Maybe it was what Syrena did to you; maybe it was a voice inside you that you listened to. I don’t know. But I’m glad you trust me. I never want to do anything to make you lose that trust in me.”
I leaned over and kissed him. He was my home. I still needed to have a conversation with Val. I knew that. There was so much I needed to tell her. But right now, at this moment, Cash was my priority.
Everything else could wait.
He rolled me over so that he was on top of me. His hand cradled the back of my head, and he held himself up with his other hand pressed into the mattress.
He brought his thigh up between my legs as he deepened the kiss. My hands explored his chest. When I pinched his nipples, he groaned, pressing against me harder.
I could feel his hard cock against my thigh. Letting my hands wander further, I traced his abs. Cash was years older than me, and some people might think it was wrong. That I was too young. But I had already been a victim. I’d already had someone older take advantage of me.
This was my decision. This was who I wanted; so, fuck them and their opinions on my life. They hadn’t lived through what I had. They weren’t inside my head with the monsters. They didn’t feel what I did.
If loving Cash was wrong, then fuck being right.
My hands grasped his hips; my mouth never leaving his. My fingertips played with the band of his boxers.
“Rose,” he moaned.
“Fuck me, Cash,” I whispered against his mouth. I reached inside and wrapped my hand around his length. He was hard and firm. But the skin was soft and silky. I stroked him and his hips lurched forward against me.
I laughed at the pained sound he released. There was no doubt I owned this man, and we both knew it. I bit my lip as I searched his eyes. Watching the battle that raged in his mind play out.
“I want you, Cash. I want to feel you inside me. I want to feel you lose control.”
“Rose,” he growled against my neck. “You’re too wrung out. From everything. Too raw,” he said as I fucked him with my hand.
“I want to feel, Cash. I want to feel everything.”
I released his cock and shimmied against him. He lifted up. Balanced on one hand, I pushed him over so he lay on his back. Then, I removed my panties and straddled him.
I stared down at him. He put his hands behind his head, and I knew he had lost the battle. “Take what you need, Rose.”
I smiled, and he smiled back. He loved my smile. The real one. The one that for a while was only for him. Tears gathered and spilled over. He brought his hand up to cradle my cheek, and I leaned into it.
“I will always give you what you need. If you need my dick inside your pussy, then it’s yours. If you need me to take the monsters so you can scream, then I will rip my heart open and let them crawl inside me. I’ll do anything you want me to do, baby. I love you, Rosebud Peterson.”
I leaned down and kissed him. He opened his mouth and let me have the control. My tongue played with his. His hands rested on my hips, but he didn’t try to move me. He didn’t deepen the kiss to what he wanted. He let me have my way. And when I sat up and impaled myself on his cock, he let me move.
I took his hands, lacing my fingers with his. His arms held me up. Giving me balance to move up and down. It would take no effort for him to overpower me and press me into the mattress to take what he wanted. But he let me set the pace.
I rocked my hips back and forth. This wouldn’t get him off. There wasn’t the right friction, not for him. This was for me. He let me use his body for my own pleasure. And when I came on his dick, screaming out his name and collapsing on his chest, he held me while I cried again. Ignoring his own needs, he gave me everything I could ask for. Everything I had always wanted.
Someone who loved me.
