Page 72 of The Monsters Within
Why would Val be mad at me? I wasn’t doing anything. Syrena’s fingers slipped around, rubbing against the little areas that I had only grazed while in the shower.
She started to rub in one spot. I didn’t want it to feel like it did, but I couldn’t control it. My body began to relax as I gave in to the feelings.
“That’s it, baby, just let Syrena take care of you.”
The hand that held my shoulder moved and covered my boob. She rubbed her hand over it, and my nipple got hard. It didn’t hurt like when I was about to start my period. It felt different. She pinched it and rubbed it between her fingers.
Her hips moved against my butt. Something felt weird. My belly got tight. There was a tingling where her fingers swirled around me.
“Syrena, I don’t feel good.”
“You do, baby. Just let it happen, Kytten. I promise this will feel very good in just a minute. Don’t fight it, baby.”
“Syrena, I don’t... It hurts.”
“No, baby, you’re just scared. I would never hurt you. This is something new. Just for you and me.”
Her fingers moved faster inside my underwear. Her hand grabbed my boob and squeezed it hard. Then she did something I knew wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stop her.
She put her fingers inside me. First one. She moved it in and out, and I didn’t understand what she was doing and why it didn’t hurt. Then she added a second finger, and it was hard to breathe.
“Syrena, please stop.”
“I can’t stop, baby, not until you come.”
Come? Come where? I would go anywhere she wanted if she would just let me go.
“Come, Kytten. Let go and come for Syrena, baby.”
Tears filled my eyes. I wanted to come for her, but I didn’t know where she wanted me to go. And how could I go anywhere if she was holding me so tight?
“Let go, baby. Feel me inside you, Kytten.” She kissed my neck and pulled her fingers out to rub again. And all of a sudden, my body felt like it was flying. I didn’t know how she had done it, but I went from feeling sick to feeling the best I ever had.
“Happy birthday, Kytten.”
“That was the first time. I wish I could say it was the only time, but Syrena would slip into my room at night after everyone was asleep. She kept telling me that no one could know. That if Val found out what we were doing, she would be mad at me and make me leave.”
Tears ran down my face. I couldn’t look at Cash. I felt him stiffen beside me. His hand held mine, but it was so loose, like he didn’t want to hold it anymore. I knew once he learned the truth, he wouldn’t want me.
I tried to pull away, and he held on tighter. My eyes locked onto where our hands were clasped together. I wanted to burn that into my memory, so that when I left here, I would always have it.
“Is this still happening?” Dr. Dunaway asked.
His voice was tight. Hard. And I knew Syrena was right. They were all mad at me because I told them.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew now that what Syrena did was wrong. She should never have touched me like that. But I let her. It was my fault. I should have told Val right away and let her be mad. But the longer I waited, the worse I knew it would be.
“No.”
“How long?” he asked. I heard him inhale and exhale before he asked again, “How long did it go on?”
I still hadn’t looked up. I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them. I could feel their anger; I didn’t need to see it.
“Almost two years. When I was sixteen, we saved a mother and her ten-year-old daughter. Her husband had been raping her daughter for two years. That was when it finally sank in that what Syrena was doing was wrong. That everything she had done since the day I came home with Val had been to groom me. All her extra attention that I thought was her just being nice, was her preparing me not to fight.”
“And she just stopped when you asked her to?” Dr. Dunaway asked.
“No. When I fucking made her.”
