Page 7 of The Monsters Within
“It’s my fault,” I whispered.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I didn’t listen. I didn’t stay where he told me to.” I sought out Cash. I needed him closer. He was too far away, and the monsters knew that.
“What happened after your mom left?”
“She didn’t leave. He took her.” I glared at Dr. Jefferson. “She loved us.”
“Of course she did. What happened after he took her?”
I looked down at my shoes. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to talk about any of it. I didn’t need to deal with shit. As long as Cash was here, everything stayed quiet.
He knew now. I didn’t have to hide the scars. I could talk to him. I didn’t need her.
“Kytten?”
I blew out a breath. “We waited. We waited for weeks. No one noticed she was gone. No one knew about us, so there was no one to check on us.”
“What about food?”
“We had food. And we learned to save it. Eventually, the landlord came around looking for the rent. He saw us. He didn’t know who we were and said he was calling the cops, so we left.”
“Where did you go?”
I looked around the backyard. It was nice here. Cash had told Thorne I was his old lady. That was before he knew. He hadn’t asked me. Now I didn’t know if he would. But I wanted to stay. Maybe I could stay with Sypher and Dante. Or I could go back to the cabin Grayson let me use.
Once Val took Amber home, there would be no room for me there. I scratched at my leg. I didn’t realize I was doing it until Dr. Jefferson reached over and took my hand.
“Kytten, what’s going through your head right now?”
I shrugged.
She sighed and sat back. “Kytten, I want to help you. But I need you to talk to me. What are you feeling right now?”
“Angry,” I answered without thought. It was true. I was angry.
“Why are you angry?”
“Because I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Can you tell me why?” She studied me as she waited for my answer.
“I don’t trust you.”
“Ok, let’s talk about why. Trust is very important. It is something that isn’t easily earned, but often easily broken. I know I haven’t earned your trust yet. But have I done something to break it?”
“Danika calls you mom. You’re not her mom.”
Dr. Jefferson closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, I saw something different. The doctor was gone and Melissa was there.
“No, I did not give birth to Dani. But I am her mother. The only one she has.” I opened my mouth to object, and she held up her hand. “I am going to do something we are taught never to do. I am going to share a little of my story with you. Normally, I wouldn’t try to explain myself. If I couldn’t establish trust with a patient, then I would refer them to someone else. I could do that with you. But with Haizley working with Cash, I would have to refer you to someone online. I don’t want to do that. You will probably hear my story in the clubhouse anyway, so it isn’t really breaking protocol.
“When Danny left, Dante continued bringing Danika to me. I worked with them both daily. We built a relationship. When Dante had to leave, he asked me to keep Dani. He didn’t go into details, but he did tell me about the clubs they were in. Danny never told Dante about my association with the Silver Shadows. Neither did I. Even after he asked me to come here if they didn’t return.
“But what Danny did before he left was put together a paper trail that named me as Danika’s mother. They asked me to take on that role in their absence. And I did. With everything I had. I knew Dani’s mother had died. And I didn’t know if Danny and Dante would ever come back. So, I did what they asked, and I became her mother.
“Danny and Dante have moved here so that I can continue to be in Dani’s life. So I can be her mother. A mother is not just someone who gives birth to you. It is someone who loves you. Protects you. Is there for you. Like Val is for you.”
