Page 83 of The Dark Lord Awakens
“Stay seated,” I said quickly. “No point in wasting perfectly good pasta on the floor. How’s the food?”
“Magnificent, my lord!” Paperclip42 exclaimed, his eyes wide. “The noodles are like nothing I’ve ever tasted!”
“Better than shadow fungus stew?” I asked with a grin.
“A thousand times better!” Stapler17 declared fervently, sauce still decorating his face like abstract art. “I want to eat this forever!”
At another table, a family of goblin refugees was experiencing ramen for the first time. The parents lookedbewildered by the chopsticks, but their children had adapted instantly, wielding them with surprising dexterity.
“The noodles dance in the broth!” exclaimed the youngest, a tiny goblin girl with enormous eyes. “Like water snakes!”
“More, please!” demanded her brother, already finishing his bowl. “Best food ever!”
Nearby, a group of what must be the newly arrived marsh sprites was cautiously approaching the serving line. They were smaller than I’d expected, with translucent skin that seemed to shift colors like oil on water. They huddled together nervously, clearly overwhelmed by the noise and activity.
“First time in the camp?” I asked, approaching them.
They immediately dropped to their knees, trembling visibly. “Dark Lord!” one squeaked, voice barely audible. “We seek sanctuary from the forest terror!”
“You’ve got it,” I assured them, motioning for them to stand. “No need for kneeling here—save your knees for when you inevitably drop food on the floor. What brought you out of the deep marsh?”
The sprites exchanged nervous glances before their apparent leader spoke again. “Shadows that eat light, my lord. They came three nights ago, consuming everything in their path. We fled with only our lives.”
“You know, just once I'd love to hear something helpful like ‘three-headed purple monsters with a weakness for cheese.’ Did anyone actually see these things directly? Like, monster-identification-chart directly?”
“No one sees them directly,” another sprite whispered. “Those who look too long become shadows themselves.”
“Great. So we’re dealing with the demon realm equivalent of Medusa, except with bonus shadow transformation instead of stone. Just what my week needed.” Before I could askmore questions, Chef Skillet427 appeared with small bowls of something that looked like risotto.
“Special preparation for our marsh friends!” he announced proudly. “Rice with gentle seasonings, as I recalled reading that marsh sprites have sensitive digestion!”
The sprites’ eyes widened at this thoughtful accommodation. Cautiously, the leader took a bite, then made a sound of surprised pleasure. “It tastes like home,” he said wonderingly. “Like the sacred grains that grow in the deepest pools.”
“What’s your name?” I asked him. “Unless you prefer ‘Terrified Translucent Guy,’ which works too, but might get confusing.”
“Ripple94, my lord,” he replied, bowing slightly. “And these are my pod-mates, Bubble16 and Dewdrop73.”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear the numerical designations from forest dwellers. “You use numbered names, like the city demons? Did the forest DMV assign those, or what?”
The sprite’s colors shifted slightly in what might have been embarrassment. “Yes, my lord. Our ancestors believed that adopting the Dark Lord’s naming customs would grant us protection. That those with numbered designations were… recognized by your power.”
Wait, seriously? I was genuinely fascinated by this cultural adaptation. So even in the deep forest, my naming influence reached them? That’s… weirdly flattering and slightly concerning. I was half-asleep when I came up with most of those naming conventions.
“The ancient stories say that those without numbers are… unclaimed,” Bubble16 added softly. “When the shadows came, many of our kind who had rejected the numbered names were the first to fall.”
“And now the Dark Lord has taken us in,” Dewdrop73 whispered, her voice tinged with awe. “Just as the legends promised.”
“Right, yes, exactly as I… definitely planned all along.” I nodded sagely. “Welcome to the camp, Ripple94. Enjoy your meal and get some rest. Someone will show you to your assigned quarters after lunch.”
As we continued through the dining area, I was struck by the atmosphere of community that had developed. Demons of different types who would never have interacted in the old Iferona were sharing tables, passing condiments, and even teaching each other how to use unfamiliar utensils. Children played between the tables, their laughter ringing loud across the area.
“It’s working,” I said quietly to Azrael. “Not just the feeding part, but the whole… community thing. It’s like watching the world’s most successful diversity training program, except with actual demons instead of Karen from accounting.”
Azrael observed the scene with his usual careful neutrality. “The void provisions have certainly produced unexpected social effects, my lord.”
“Food brings people together.” I shrugged. “Universal constant, apparently even in demon realms. Nothing says ‘let’s be friends’ like carbohydrates and cheese.”
We completed our inspection of the kitchen facilities, where I ordered additional supplies and made notes about expanding the cooking classes. The camp’s population continued to grow daily, and we needed more trained cooks to keep up with demand.
