Page 103 of Code of Heart
Gertrude waved a glow stick at them. “Stop being such fuddy-duddies! Let the music take you!”
They needed to get out of thereimmediately.
Nancy purred from Levi’s other side. “You boys need torelax…and I havejustthe thing to help with that.”
Levi stared in horror as she produced a small pill from her clutch.
“What the hell is that?” he barked.
“Bertrand called it ‘molly.’ Said it makes these things more fun.”
No no no no no.
Levi looked at her incredulously. “Did you take one of these?”
Ophelia, still swaying wildly, chimed in. “Of course! Bertrand assured us that based on his research, it’s what all young people do. I’ve never felt sofree!”
Levi’s brain nearly short-circuited.Impossible…How is this my life?
Owen elbowed his way to Levi’s side, his face pale with disbelief. “Look at meright now. We need to go. I’m being sexually assaulted by old ladies who are tripping balls, and I didn’t sign up for this,” he hissed.
Levi couldn’t agree more. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
As they wrestled free, a disheveled figure, with feral unfocused eyes staggered toward them. It was Bertrand Dallingford. He somehow lost his tuxedo jacket, his shirt was partially untucked, and his tie was now knotted around his head. His toupee slid awkwardly to the side as he waved his cane like a weapon.
“Everyone, take cover! The chopper’s too low!” he bellowed.
Gladys scowled. “What nonsense is your face hole spouting this time, Bertrand?”
Bertrand’s eyes darted around wildly. “I can hear them in the tree line! Take cover!”
To Levi’s horror, and with a speed a man his age should not have, Bertrand tossed his cane aside and flipped over the nearest table with a mighty grunt—plates and glasses crashed to the floor.
“This can’t be happening,” Levi muttered.
“Oh, it’s happening,” Owen replied grimly.
“Heaven's pearls! Have you lost your mind?” Gladys shrieked.
Several people had stopped dancing at this point, disturbed by the commotion. Even the DJ had paused the music.
Having dropped to one knee, Bertrand popped up like a deranged gopher from behind the table. “We have to take cover in this trench! I can hear Oscar calling for help out there…We need backup!
“Who’s Oscar, and is he single?” asked Gertrude, a dreamy, faraway look on her face. Sweat had begun to bead on her upper lip.
Judith angrily turned on Gertrude. “Why doyouget to meet Oscar first? Youalwaystry to snap up any eligible bachelor the second you can, parading your expired clam to anyone and everyone—”
“Hand me the ammo!” Bertrand hollered. His breathing labored as he gestured towards scattered food and dinnerware. “We’ve got to hold them off until reinforcements arrive!”
Owen tried to approach the old man to calm him down and stand him up, only to quickly jump back, narrowly avoiding the butter knife Bertrand swiped across his midsection. “This is war, son—if you're not on our side, then you're the enemy. Get any closer, boy, and I will gut you like a fish! They trained us soldiers well, traitor!”
For once, Owen was at a loss. He didn’t know how to handle this situation. Retreating cautiously, he held his hands and his phone in the air where Bertrand could see them. “Look, I’m only trying to help you, sir. Your commander sent me ahead of reinforcements to let you know backup is coming.”
WHAT?
Levi was going to strangle him for feeding into this hallucination…andfor taking out his phone and filming it.
A seething Gladys marched over to Bertrand. “You haveneverleft this country at any point during your ninety-five miserableyears of existence, let alone served in the military, you sack of wet grains!”
