Page 94 of Knot Going Down
I turn my head toward him, cheek resting against his collarbone. “After Ava’s heat? Or after the cruise?”
“Yeah. All of it.”
I let out a soft breath. “All the time.”
“And?”
“I think we could make something… real… out of this.”
“Me too,” he says, voice barely audible over the lapping water. “I’m in. You’re in. Lucas. We’ve buttered Ava up.”
Literally. The food play got a little greasy for a while. I’m sure housekeeping will need to burn the sheets. They might even need holy water.
I smile a little, prodding my man with my shoulder as I wriggle against him. “That just leaves Knox.”
Declan’s fingers tighten ever so slightly on my waist. “Yeah. Knox.”
There’s a pause, and I don’t fill it right away. I feel him weighing his words, sorting them through whatever filters he keeps in place when he doesn’t want to say something he might regret.
“He’s trying,” I offer. “In his own cheeky, brooding, nothing-is-serious, emotionally constipated way.”
Declan snorts, but it’s a tired sound. Not mean. Not amused, either.
“He’s not a bad guy,” I add.
“That doesn’t mean he’s good, either. Or that he’s right for this pack.”
I tilt my head enough to see him from the corner of my eye. “You don’t trust him.”
“Do you?” His words are soft, but they land hard.
I shift and nestle back against Declan’s chest with a sigh. He lets me get away without answering. His arms drift loose around my waist, fingers lazily skimming over my hip bone like he’s memorizing the shape of me. He hasn’t said anything in a while, but I can feel him thinking just like I am. Heavy thoughts. The kind that press behind the ribs and don’t let go.
“I’m worried he’s gonna run,” I admit. Those old feelings of standing alone at prom hover in my heart. Of waiting for him when he never showed.
Declan sighs against my back. “I’m worried he’s gonna hurt Ava. Or you. Or me. Maybe not on purpose, not out of malice. But maybe he doesn’t know how to stay. And I don’t know if I want him to.”
“I think he wants to be better,” I whisper.
“I don’t know if that's enough, baby.” He nuzzles against my neck, scent marking me. “If that’s enough for this. For you. For what Ava and Lucas deserve.” He drags his fingers down my thigh underwater, more grounding than sensual. “I keep waiting for him to bolt. For the other shoe to drop.”
“I get it,” I whisper. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I just... I see something in him. I know him better than you do.”
He nods against me, jaw brushing my temple. “I know you do. And maybe that’s what makes me hesitate.”
I go quiet, not sure how to answer. It’s not a rejection of the idea of something with Knox. It’s not jealousy. It’s just honest. And that’s one of the things I like about Declan. He won’t lie to keep the peace.
He exhales slowly, a warm breath against my hair. “I want this to work, Em. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
His arms tighten, protective, possessive, but not suffocating. Just sure.
I close my eyes, listening to the water shift around us in the tub. This is the first quiet moment we've had in days. The first one that’s just been ours since Ava’s heat hit.
“I think he wants to be here,” I say finally.
Declan doesn’t answer.
