Page 66 of Knot Going Down
“No. I mean, she’s gorgeous! That’s not up for question. Anyone can see that. It’s just…”
“You do not know if she is beautiful to you like art, or like someone you want to undress.”
Do I want that? My sexual experiences are so limited, I’m not sure I even know what I want.
I feel like I’m re-evaluating my entire sexuality. Whatever I felt for Violet, we drifted apart the way middle school friends do when they go to different high schools. Then I met Knox, and even as a teenager he was all masculinity. I tried watching sexyvideos online a few times. A couple clicks in the wrong place, a few vague search terms, and I ended up on a side of the XXX web that I wasnotready for, with latex and chains, and I immediately swore off those kinds of websites. But before it scarred me for life, I remember the soft sounds of the beautiful women. I liked those videos best. Thinking I was picturing Knox doing those things to me, but what would it feel like to do those things to another woman? To Ava?
I sigh. “I don’t know. Lately… I’ve… Well, this is all kind of new for me.”
“But you like her, yes?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“And you want to spend more time with her?” Lucas stops walking, forcing me to stop with him.
“Yes.” I can’t meet his eyes.
“You want to be closer to her.” He backs me gently against the wall, leaning so close my chest brushes against his and I have to strain my neck to look up at him. “This close?”
My chin dips ever so slightly.
“And do you think about touching her?” He trails his fingers lightly up the side of my hip. “About her touching you?”
I bite my lips and nod, a little braver at the lack of judgement in his voice.
“Can I let you in on a secret, beautiful Emily?” His lips brush against my ear. “She wants that, too.”
“How do you know?” The words are barely a breath.
He chuckles, stepping back. “Because she looks at you the same way you look at her. The same way Knox and Declan and I look at both of you.”
My brows pinch together, and I shake my head. “All of you? That can’t?—”
His forefinger covers my mouth, silencing me.
“Shhh. Promise me something?” He pulls my bottom lip gently between his fingers. “If given the opportunity, take it.”
“Hey are you guys coming?” Knox hollers, holding the elevator open for us.
We share one more look before rushing to catch up.
The elevator is spacious, with one wall of glass overlooking the ocean and the glittering deck below, but it feels suffocating with just the four of us. Lucas’s words echo in my mind on a loop.
She wants that, too.
Does she? Do I want her to?
The elevator dings as the doors open a floor above. A middle-aged couple steps in, clearly dressed for the formal dinner. The woman gives a polite smile to each of us. The man nods. They smell like strong cologne and the faintest echo of champagne. It shifts the energy. Forces us all to straighten up.
The gentleman with the cologne compliments Knox’s tie being so perfectly knotted. Lucas smirks but says nothing as Knox thanks the man. Ava’s gaze stays fixed ahead, jaw tense. I can practically feel the tension radiating off her.
She shifts her weight, and the slit in her dress splits, revealing her smooth, tan leg. My eyes travel up, thinking about what the fabric covers. What would she taste like… there? I don’t even know whatItaste like, because how would I… why would I… The sensation of a hot blush creeps up my neck. But I can’t stop picturing it. Ava’s thigh over my shoulder as I discover whether she tastes as good as she smells when she’s not covering up her perfect blackberry, graham cracker, and creamy cheesecake scent.
Two floors later, the couple steps out. The doors close again, and Knox’s attention settles on me.
“Penny for your thoughts, Ly?” His tone is deep and throaty and way too sexy in my ear. Yeah, I absolutely like men, andhis attention deepens the blush that has to be crimson on my cheeks. Was I staring that obviously?
“Hmm, please share your thoughts with the class, Miss Delainey,” Lucas says from beside me. His lips are quirked in a sexy grin that suggests he knows exactly what I was thinking.
