Page 57 of Knot Going Down
“Thank you,” Ava whispers.
Their eyes meet, and he gives her a brief, tender kiss on the forehead that makes my chest hollow.
29
EMILY
Aquiet knock on the bathroom doorframe pulls my attention away from the mirror.
“Can we talk?” Declan’s voice is soft but steady.
“Sure.” I glance up, eyeliner pencil mid-air. “Come in.”
Ava’s already dressed and downstairs, probably halfway through her second glass of wine by now. We decided to keep it casual tonight and eat in, save the glitz for tomorrow’s Captain’s Dinner. But I still want to look nice. I haven’t seen Declan since this morning. And I’ve been trying to perfect this damn eyeliner for twenty minutes because I’m nervous. Nervous about what I’ll say. Nervous about what he might say.
With each day that brings us closer to land, I feel as if our time is running out. I want to make the most of it while we can. We’ve been taking things slow, but if this can only last a few more days, I don’t want it to end with a few make-out sessions. I want to know what he looks like when he comes, what it feels like when he’s stretching me open. Now that I’ve uncorked my sexual side, it keeps fizzing over in curious little bubbles, growing more eager to make up for lost time with the man on the other side of the bathroom door.
I already talked to Ava, and she said she’d hang out downstairs or on the balcony for a bit if we wanted to use the bed. There was a brief second when she seemed a little sad about it, but then she encouraged the idea almost to the point of pushiness.
I haven’t told Declan my intentions yet, though.
He steps into the bathroom, his presence immediately filling the space. He’s rolled up the sleeves of his linen shirt, still slightly damp from a shower, and his scent hits me—clean, woodsy, and a little warmed from the sun. My chest tightens. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his shorts, shoulders tense. I lower the eyeliner pencil and meet his gaze in the mirror.
“I’ve been thinking a lot today,” he says, not bothering with small talk. “About us. About what I want.”
I set the pencil down on the counter. “So have I.”
“I want to be with you, Em,” he says plainly. Just… the truth. “When we get back to the States, I want us to try. For real.”
My stomach flips. I study his face. He’s not joking. There’s no smug confidence or teasing grin, just quiet certainty. “Declan…”
He must see the hesitation in my face because he lifts a hand, not quite touching me, just holding space. “I know. I know you don’t date alphas. And I’m not asking you to compromise your boundaries. I’m simply laying it out. I want you in my life.”
I exhale, sitting down on the edge of the tub. “What if you meet your scent match?”
“You know how rare that is.” He crouches in front of me, forearms resting on his knees. “And if I did—which is a big if—they’d have to want to be with you, too. I’m not budging on that. You and me? We’d be a package deal.”
His gaze is steady. Grounding. It sounds so easy when he says it like that. Like it’s a decision, not a chemical compulsion waiting to knock us off our feet.
Fear skitters across my skin like a rip tide threatening to drag me under. “You’re saying all the right things,” I murmur. “But I’ve seen what scent matches do to people. How fast everything changes.”
“I’ve seen it too,” he says, voice low. “But I’m not them. I’m choosing you first.”
“I want to believe you.”
“Then let me show you,” he says, fully kneeling on the tile floor in front of me. “I don’t want some future possibility. I wantyou.You first.”
I exhale shakily, my heart both racing and aching.
He stills, resting a hand on my knee. “There’s something else you should know.” Declan pauses. My brows lift slightly, waiting for what he needs to say. He meets my gaze with an unwavering steadiness. “I hooked up with Lucas this afternoon.”
It’s like a splash of cold water. Not painful—just sharp. Surprising. “Oh.”
First, Ava and Knox. Now, this.
“I didn’t plan it. It just—” He runs a hand through his hair. “It happened. And I needed to tell you. Not because I regret it. But because I don’t want secrets between us.”
He’s being open, and that’s good. So was Ava. That counts for something, right? I feel all muddled and confused.
