Page 9 of Knot Going Down
My cheeks burn. “Meggie Harper, you know I… well, you know.”
I’ve only ever been with one person before. A man I try not to think about. We were young. It was sweet, but ultimately didn’t work out, and now our lives have gone in different directions.
“It’s just a little flirty something,” I say. “An Olympic memory. That’s it.”
“That man doesn’t look at you like this is a momentary bit of fun, Em.”
I pinch my lips together before changing the subject. “So, are you okay? What happened to…” I trail off, looking over my shoulder at Declan, not wanting him to hear me talking about Meggie’s suppressants. Not that I want him to hear any of this conversation.
Before she can answer, Declan takes the one armchair in the room and motions for me to join him. “So what’s this about?”
Wrapping a hand around my hip, he pulls me down until I’m sitting on the armrest. He’s always touching me like this, always wants me close whenever we’re together. It makes me feel almost like an omega.
Omegas were always the desired ones in the fairy tales, soft-spoken and beautiful, plucked from obscurity by powerful alphas who worshipped the ground they walked on. They were cherished. Protected. Wanted. Everything I longed to be.
My friends and I played games at recess, pretending to be claimed, and no one chose to be a beta. Betas were background noise. We all wanted to be omegas or alphas. I always wanted to be an omega.
The older I got, the more the dream sharpened its edges. Being an omega started to mean being docile, pliant, governed by your alphas. And yet, the allure remained—glossy and golden. You were told you’d be revered, treasured. They nevermentioned the leash that tighten around Meggie when she designated.
Even while I watched my best friend struggle because of her omega designation, I still craved it. Because at the end of the day, being prized still meant being seen.
But I’m not an omega.
And it’s silly to feel like I can’t be desirable as a beta. I’m worthy of a partner utterly smitten with me, regardless of my designation.
“First of all, thank you for coming so quickly,” Harrison says as he sits down on the couch across from us. Most of his pack remains standing, but Meggie takes the seat next to Harrison. It’s strange that she leaves a foot of distance between them, though. Maybe she’s more worried about being off her meds than I thought.
I don’t think omegas go into heat the second they get off suppressants. But what do I know? She does look a little flushed.
“No problem,” Declan replies to Harrison. “I know you have a game today, and Emily said it was urgent.”
He looks up at me with a soft expression that’s almost a smile. I love when he smiles. It doesn’t happen very often.
“We have information about someone selling illegal suppressants that we think you might be interested in.” Harrison leans forward, resting his elbows on his spread knees.
Declan tilts his head, studying the other alpha. “Why not call the French authorities?”
“He’s from the States, and we have reason to be sensitive with who we?—”
“Look,” Ellis cuts in, “it’s clear you care about my sister, and this affects her. So we’d rather haveyoudeal with it.”
“How does this affect Emily?” Declan’s tone is cautious until his gaze suddenly swings up to me. “Are you an omega?”
A laugh breaks out of me like a bubble popping, but I can feel an edge to it. That dream of a ginormous pack, with lots of hot alphas and kids running around everywhere, cuts into me now. Betas don’t often get the big packs that omegas do. The kind of family I wanted. A family that wasn’t like the quiet, neglectful one I came from.
Things were okay before my mom died. But after that, my dad withdrew, and it was pretty much just me and Ellis. He’s a great older brother, but he was only around so much.
I’ve made my peace with not having a pack. Honestly, I’d probably be in a constant state of panic with that many people around all the time. This is good. I like who I am and the life I have now.
But… I kinda wish I could keep Declan.
He’s looking at me like he wants to see into my mind, maybe like he’s not sure he believes me, so I shake my head again, and mouth,‘no.’
“Okay, so what’s this about, then?” Declan turns his attention back to Harrison.
My brother’s pack alpha leans over, elbows on his spread knees. “Where do you stand on omegas competing in the Olympics?” The two men stare at each other for what feels like a long time, but is probably only a few seconds.
“My personal opinion is that it’s a rule based on prejudice and there’s no reason for it to continue,” Declan says carefully. “My professional opinion is it’s against the law, and I’d have to turn in any omega I found competing.”
