Page 81 of Knot Going Down
Ava takes my shoulder and arranges me so I’m facing her. “Em, I don’t have a lot of hard limits. I like experimenting and trying things. Novelty turns me on, and I doubt that will be different during a heat. But I know this is all newer to you. So I think you should be the one to set our boundaries.”
“But… um… I’ll be lucid. So, maybe I can just say stop if I don’t want something?”
“You can absolutely say stop at any time. Any of us can,” Declan says. “But it would still be good to establish a few off the table things before everything gets too heated. Trust me.”
There’s something dark in his expression that makes me want to ask more. But maybe now’s not the time.
“Okay, I guess… um… I’m not sure what the limits are because I’m not sure what the options are.”
“I can help with that.” Lucas gives a cheeky grin and pulls out his laptop.
Gunner tries to climb halfway into Knox’s lap, tail wagging wildly as if he’s excited to learn about kink, too.
Declan glares. “He’s not supposed to be on the furniture.”
“Oh shut up,” Knox grumbles, completely unapologetic about his place in Gunner’s heart.
We spend the next hour looking at lists of kinks, with everyone explaining things to me, checking off ones that they’re into or would like to try or aren’t interested in at all. It should be awkward and uncomfortable. But it’s not. It’s kind of fun. We laugh a lot, stuff our faces with massive burritos, and I learn more about these four people than I ever thought I’d know.
And through it all, there’s a soft hum of arousal in the room, rising and dipping, each rise higher than the dip before. When we’ve gone over the last thing on Lucas’s list, I feel braver than I’ve ever felt. We’re ready for whatever happens.
40
KNOX
Unable to sleep, I take my rosary off my wrist, where I usually keep it wrapped like a bracelet, and work the beads through my fingers mindlessly. There are no words, just a bone deep hope that’s its own kind of prayer. This whole thing—the five of us here—feels so ridiculously unlikely that it’s gotta be divine. I want it to be divine. Fate. God-ordained. Bringing Emily back into my life at the only time when she might give me a chance, with an omega who clearly wants her. Not just any omega. My scent match.
“Are you awake?” Lucas asks into the quiet darkness. I’m not sure if he’s addressing me or Declan.
“Yeah.” Declan’s voice is rough.
Gunner lifts his head from where he’s sleeping at my feet, ears twitching like he’s picking up on something I haven’t yet. He blinks up at me, then gives a low huff and settles his chin back down.
“How can I sleep after hearing Ava’s up for double-penetration and Emily wants to try going down on her? Yeah, I’m awake.” I chuckle and shift positions to face Lucas, even though I can’t see him from my place on the floor. Giving Lucasthe couch was the one thing Declan and I could agree on. Maybe it was some kind of protective alpha masochism, or maybe just a rare show of selflessness. Lucas protested at first, but once he realized neither of us were budging, he let us take care of him in this small way.
I could have taken the loveseat, but I’d rather stretch out than be crammed into a ball all night.
Gunner shifts with me, moving up to curl against my back. I love that Declan’s dog has decided he likes me even better than him. Something about it gives me hope for the future.
“I have been through a heat before,” Lucas says, “and omegas can get… sensitive. Negative energy is amplified in a heat.” He clears his throat, voice steady but distant, like he’s sorting memories he’d rather not revisit.
I glance at him in the dark, suddenly wondering what kind of heats he’s seen and who hurt him.
Declan sighs. “He’s right. We can’t be fighting in a heat. It’ll distress my omega.”
“You were doing pretty good there until you threw in that possessive.” I glare across the room in the direction of his bedroll. “She’souromega.”
He’s silent for a while, the only noise the huff of Gunner’s breath.
“Look, I’m not asking you to make Pack McLaren real or anything,” I say. “Hell, I’m not sure I’m even ready for a pack. But she’s my scent match, too.” Wow. That still feels weird to say. “It doesn’t mean I have some kind of neanderthal claim to her, but it means you can’t cut me out of courting her.”
“Is that what you intend?” Lucas asks quietly, curiously. I’m not sure who he’s aiming the question at.
I stay quiet, waiting for someone else to speak
Declan exhales. “I had a bad experience with an omega. Lori. Her name was Lori. My best friend, Kyle, wanted to bond her. Iwasn’t so sure. She and I weren’t scent matches, and I’d always planned on waiting for mine.” His voice drops into something flatter. Report-like. “We were seeing each other, Kyle and I. But she was his childhood friend. They had history, you know? Then Lori came over in full heat while he was out. She knew he wouldn’t be there. We hadn’t set boundaries. I had no chance of holding out. I couldn’t resist. We fucked. Kyle walked in and saw us, and he thought I’d come around. By the end of her heat, he’d bonded her.”
A pause hangs in the air, and I’m at a loss for anything to say.
