Page 5 of Knot Going Down
Normally, I don’t do well with surprise contact. But this? This is… fine. Nice. The comforting warmth travels all the way up my arm to my chest. I’ve never liked physical contact unless I initiate it myself. When I touch someone, it feels like I’m in control, a tool in my arsenal, a means to an end. Someone else touching me feels awkward. I don’t know how to respond to it. Maybe that’s part of what I liked about my ex-boyfriend Harrison. Even though he’s an alpha, he rarely initiated contact. I took the lead in our relationship in a lot of ways. Although, in the end, maybe that was part of the problem. I don’t know.
Emily lets go too soon.
“It’s fine.” I take a sip of my perfectly honeyed coffee.
She tilts her head and studies me. “I’m gonna go to the rugby game tonight. Do you want to come with me after your meet?”
“Ooooh,” I drag out the word, welcoming the change in topic. “I thought I saw you flirting with one of the rugby players the other day. Does this have something to do with him? That man had quads for days.”
Emily turns a bright pink, the pretty blush traveling down her chest, notable in the cute little tank top she’s wearing.
“Lucas and I are just friends.” She hops off the counter and pours herself more coffee. “I’m actually kind of seeing someone else… maybe… I mean, it’s not serious. It can’t be, since he’s an alpha, and I don’t date alphas, but Declan…” She sighs dreamily.“He’s so… so… I just like him. It’s a fling. That’s all. Something I’ll always be able to remember, you know? Last night…”
She keeps talking, but my mind wanders as I stare at her lips. I like when she rambles like this. There’s something comforting about it. Harrison never rambled. Probably because he never had anything to say to me. I should have seen the writing on the wall with that one, but reading other people has always been a challenge. I really thought Harrison and I had something. I thought he loved me and was going to propose in Paris. That’s what people do after dating for more than a year.
Wow, was I wrong.
“And then Gunner, his dog, started licking my toes,” Emily finishes.
I laugh, because I know I’m supposed to, though I don’t find it particularly funny. I’ve always had a weird sense of humor, dry, morbid. I fake laughter a lot.
“So what about Rugby Guy? Just collecting admirers like trading cards?” I stare into my empty coffee cup. It’s clear the rugby guy was into Emily, and it sounds like Declan is too. I want to ask her what her secret is, how she got two guys interested in her so easily. But I keep my mouth shut.
“We’re just friends.”
“Right.” I tap a nail on my ceramic mug. “Are we?”
She tilts her head. “What?”
“Friends.”
Her brows knit in an expression I can’t read. “I hope so.”
Emily isn’t like me. She doesn’t have to try to make friends. It’s natural for her. She’s got people around her who are truly loyal. And I understand why. She’s captivating. And it’s not just that she’s beautiful with her short sandy hair and little freckles on her shoulders from so much time in the sun. It’s the way her eyes light up when she’s talking about the latest cozy mystery downloaded from her library ebook app. And the little wrinkleshe gets on her nose when she’s upset. And the fact she even uses the library ebook app like a financially and environmentally conscious good human instead of dropping her credit card at a chain store for the hardback of a new book. I, on the other hand, enjoy my shelf trophies and sprayed-edges-foil-covered collector’s editions despite my credit card’s protests that I don’t need another copy of that fae series just because it’s a black out edition.
Emily doesn’t need me as a friend. She’s got plenty of them.
Setting down her mug, she pops off the counter and circles the kitchen to hug me. I can’t hide my shock, spilling out a little squeak of surprise as I go stiff. She smells like almond—no, there’s a slight booziness to it, amaretto, maybe? And something sweeter with just a little kick. Smoked vanilla. That’s it. Amaretto and smoked vanilla. The combination feels elegant and classy, feminine, but not overly girly.
She doesn’t let go right away, and I slowly relax into her hold. I consider hugging her back, but my arms stay frozen. Letting her do the whole soft thing feels safer. It feels nice. Harrison wasn’t much of a hugger. As omegas, my sisters are both big huggers, but they live on the other side of the country with their own packs. We don’t see each other often, and when they designated, and I didn’t, things got awkward.
I should pull away. I don’t.
Exhaling into the curve of her shoulder, I pretend my reason for staying is just stress about my upcoming meet. Nothing more.
“Sorry,” she murmurs, her breath near my neck sending a shiver down my spine. “For how I treated you before.”
“You’ve been fine,” I lie, pulling back.
“I don’t think I understood you before.”
I raise a brow. “You think you do now?”
“No. But I want to.”
It’s ridiculous how much I like hearing that. “I’d like that.”
“Then it’s settled.” Emily plows ahead. “We’re new besties.”
