Page 122 of Crazy In Love
“Eugene, ma’am.” He offers his hand and wraps mine in his over-large palms. “I’m Eugene. And you are?”
“Fox. I know,” I add when his brow shoots high. “Strange name. Tell me please, Eugene. What would Maggie advise me to do?”
His eyes dance with taunting humor. “She’d tell you to stop fussing over a dumb guy and do whatever makesyouhappy. Then, once you’re doing that, you inform that sorry son of a bitch that he’s to fall in line,or else.”
“Ironic.” I snicker and shake my head. “That’s basically what Alana said. I have to figure out what I want and go for it. Then if the rest is meant to be, it’ll be.”
“Sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.” Sobering, he tilts his head toward my building. “I won’t follow you up, since that would not be proper. But maybe, when you get to your door, you could let me know if he’s there?”
“Let you know?”
“Yeah. Like, if he’s there, flash your living room lights a little bit. If he’s not?—”
“No flashing.”God, it hurts already.
I said we were just friends! And then I declared I was moving to Rome.
Of course, he won’t be here.
“I’ll do the light thing.” I bring my gaze up and meet Eugene’s eyes one last time. “Thanks for the ride. You’re the first person I’ve talked to today who didn’t annoy me.”
He takes my hand between his and squeezes. “And you’re the first person I’ve met in eleven years who kind of reminded me of Maggie. That was a gift.”
God! Tear my heart out!
“Wherever you go, Fox, and whatever you choose to do with your life, I hope you waste none of it doubting how truly special you are. Take up space and know you matter. Our lives are too short to worry about what other people think of us.”
“Ominous and inspiring at the same time.” I take a step forward, nervous and jittery. “C-Can we hug? I feel like this is a hugging moment.”
“It would be my pleasure.” He drags me in and crushes me close, his beard tickling my neck and his heart thudding heavily against my chest.
He lingers, even when I try to pull back, reaffirming his grip and chuckling because he already knows me so well.
When he’s done, he steps back and holds my arms in his broad hands. “My wife and I never had children. It’s not that we didn’t want to. It just wasn’t meant for us. But if we had…” His lips curl higher. “I think our daughter might’ve been a little like you.”
“You have no kids.” I reach up and swipe my eyes. “And I have no parents.”
“The universe usually knows what she’s doing.” He presses a kiss to his fingers, then he places his fingers on the center of my forehead. “I’m thankful you chose my car tonight, Fox.”
And to think, I would have gotten into the other.
“Now go.” He releases me and takes a step back, shooing me along with a flick of his hand.
I don’t want to leave, and yet, I want nothing more than to lock myself inside my apartment so I can cry in peace. But to get there, I have to go through the part where I discover if Christian is here, waiting for me.
Or not.
I draw a deep breath, expanding my chest until it aches. Then I wrap my palm around the handle of my bag andwee-woo-wee-wooalong the sidewalk. Through the building door. Onto the stairs.
I haul forty pounds of clothes and shoes and a few snacks, too—since I’m a weirdo—up three flights, and when I arrive at the next, I round the landing and consider holding my breath to stave off the panic building in my chest.
But I don’t do that either, since passing out on the stairs would only send me back to the bottom again.
“If you’re up there, maybe you could stomp twice.”Great, I’m talking to myself. “I know I suck at communication, and IknowI said we were friends. That was shitty of me. But if you’re here, then maybe that means you love me, too. And if that’s true, then I wouldreallyappreciate it if you stomped to save me from the stress of wondering.”
I stop and wait. I look up and tilt my head to the side. But all I get is silence… and the sounds of a game show coming from one of my neighbor’s apartments.
“No?” Dropping my head, I continue up the stairs and onto my floor, and lugging my suitcase behind me, I steel myself and pray I survive the pain. Then I look at the area in front of my door and find it exactly how I expected I would.
