Page 53 of Claiming Xan
She giggled, and the two of us got to work.
30
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As the weekspassed me by, I noticed something—I’d been texting Sky less and less often, while spending more and more time with Xan and his friends.
Last weekend, Xan and I went over to Shay and Donovan’s place. We ate pizza and played video games till nearly 2 AM, then passed out together on the couch. I woke up with Xan drooling on my shoulder. It was…oddly endearing.
I just checked my phone less, unless Xan was at work or in town running errands, on the off-chance that we weren’t together. Because we’d been spending alotof time together. As in, the sweet sunshine-y Omega had been practically glued to my side as of late.
I kind of loved it, not gonna lie.
Not today, though. Xan had to work a late shift, and for some reason, I was antsy as fuck. I needed todosomething. Damn it, I really needed a job. I couldn’t just sit around the house all afternoon and do nothing.
So I decided to clean. I grabbed a couple of bottles of cleaning solution from the cabinet under the kitchen sink and ripped open a new package of sponges, then got to work.
I got a weird look from Gracie when she popped into the house on her lunch break, but I didn’t stop scrubbing the sink. I put my back into that shit. I simply grunted out a “Hello,” and kept going, the music playing pop hits from whatever radio station Xan had set it to.
After a couple of hours of nonstop cleaning, I was sweating up a storm and thirsty as hell. I needed a break. I plopped down on the couch with a bottle of cold water and checked my phone while I drank it. Xan hadn’t texted me, but I did have a couple of missed messages from Sky.
Guilt panged through me.
Over the last few weeks, I hadn’t had much to say. Not even as my brother told me all about the job he got, working as a dishwasher at a local restaurant, the new dose of meds he was on that were helping level out his moods, and how nice his roommate Jem was.
I felt almost disconnected as I read the texts today:I miss you. I’ve been telling you what’s happening in my life, but I don’t know anything about yours. It feels like we’re a thousand miles apart and I hate it. I wish I could hear your voice again. I feel like I’m going to forget you…
I swallowed the lump growing in my throat, took a breath, and texted back, choosing my words carefully.Sorry, Sky. It’s not you, I promise. Life’s just been hectic.Not exactly a lie? Still, I felt shitty about it.
I knew I should probably tell my brother about Xan, but I also knew Sky. I knew how he would take that, as me replacing him—and in a way? It was kind of true? My every living thought had been tangled up in Xan for months now.
I’ve been working a lot, trying to save money so I can move out of the Alpha’s house,I texted instead.I need my own place. I’m tired of being under her thumb. She’snot terrible, but Alpha attitudes always rub me the wrong way. You know how it is.
I sighed and rubbed at my temple before concluding with:I’ll try and text more often. I miss you too.
Did I, though? When Gracie had first suggested we split apart for awhile, I’d been devastated. Furious. But honestly? I thought it would’ve been more of a gaping loss than it actually turned out to be. At least for me.
Maybe it was because Gracie was right—my temperhadbeen far more stable away from Sky, but… Maybe it was because I’d filled that wolf-shaped hole with Xan instead. Traded grief and pain for love and affection.
Did that make me a bad person? I wasn’t even sure anymore.
That night, Xan and I laid out on the front lawn and gazed up at the stars. The anxiety that’d thrummed through my soul all day? It all but melted away. Our fingers intertwined atop the blanket as Xan pointed out different constellations, giggling as he explained that Orion’s belt was needed to hold up his pants so he didn’t accidentally flash the little dipper. I just rolled my eyes and smiled.
We even saw a few shooting stars.
“Make a wish!” he whisper-shouted into my ear, then turned to snuggle closer. I growled and nipped at his bottom lip before kissing him. Xan sighed into it, relinquishing himself to me, and we gazed into each other’s eyes. What I saw reflected back was love, plain and simple.
And I knew that even if Xan wasn’t carrying my child? I’d still want him. I’d still want this. Us. A future together. One that was bright and gleaming with opportunity.
But did I deserve it? That was the question.
31
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August’s heatblazed right into September, though the nights were cool. Xan liked opening our bedroom window so we could fall asleep to the sounds of tree frogs and crickets singing their midnight minstrel.
Today, we were in Greymercy, shopping for clothes. A new boutique had opened up on the square and Xan had “practically been dying” (his words, not mine) for some new paternity tops, so of course I entertained him and went along for the ride.
