Page 41 of Claiming Xan
My wolf had been pacingand whining and growling as I laid on my back in that stiff hotel bed and tried to focus on calming my breaths.
In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four.
It didn’t seem to help, no matter how many reps I did. I would’ve been pacing the floors if my thigh didn’t ache from the gunshot wound, or if my body didn’t feel like it weighed a thousand pounds.
But when I heard the almost timid knock at the door, it was everything I could do to rein my beast as it strained and clawed at my mind. I rolled out of bed and limped across the room, throwing the door open wide.
I already knew it was Xan—I could smell him—but seeing him standing there, looking about as lost as I felt? It nearly ripped my heart out.
I couldn’t stop myself. The sound that broke from me was almost animal as I threw myself at him, crushing him to my chest.
And Xan… He tried to soothe me, murmuring in hushed tones, his hand gentle in my hair, stroking the side of my head. Just that simple touch was enough to quiet the rumbling of my wolf, and when he told me he was mine, it suddenly felt like I could breathe again.
I pulled back and took him by the hand, searching his face. “Come lay with me? Please? I just… I need to feel you beside me. Need to be with you.” I saw his throat work, but he nodded wordlessly and let me lead him over to the bed.
We both crawled beneath the bedsheets, fully clothed, and once Xan was settled in, I wrapped myself around him, spooning him from behind. My good leg slid over the Omega’s, locking him to me, as my arm cinched around his waist and my nose found his nape once more.
I breathed him in and closed my eyes, willing my high-strung body to relax. He still smelled so sweet… Not as ripe and pungent as when he was in heat, but sweeter than his usual faint honey smell. Maybe it was the mate bond? Maybe my senses were just better now that we’d been separated for weeks? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
We laid together, just like that, for what seemed like hours. Just sharing the same space and syncing our breaths, our chests rising and falling in time. I wanted to stay like this forever.
After awhile, though, Xan turned in the circle of my arms so that he was facing me. His dark eyes were imploring as his fingertips skirted along my cheek. “I was scared that I’d lost you forever.”
My chest tightened with the realization that he might’ve, had Huxley and Chance not found me. Had the redneck aimed a little higher. Had I left Rubydawn territory to be captured by Dr. Thompson and dragged back to my own personal hell…
I swallowed hard. “Me too.”
Xan cupped my face in both of his small hands. “Where did you go?” he asked, his voice a gentle hush. “When you ran away?”
I closed my eyes on a sigh. “Nowhere,” I muttered. “I never left Rubydawn territory. I was too afraid that if I did, the men in lab coats would find me and drag me back to the facility and I—” I shook my head. “I didn’t leave, but I kept moving, in case your mother sent thugs after me. Never stayed in one place too long. Didn’t sleep. Didn’t eat.”
“You didn’t eat?” His expression was almost horrified, but shame burned through me regardless.
I pursed my lips. “I… I was never taught how to hunt. I tried to catch rabbits and squirrels, but I was too clumsy and they were too fast. I ended up resorting to scavenging out of dumpsters when I got too hungry to think straight, but some asshole with a shotgun put an end to that.”
Xan gasped. “Did he shoot you?”
“Clipped me. I got lucky, but that was the final nail in the coffin. I was starving, weak, wounded. All alone in the woods. I thought that maybe it was better if I died out there. Your mother would be happy, and Sky…” I grimaced. “Maybe he could have a normal life without my energies polluting his.”
Xan covered my mouth with his hand. “No. Don’t say that.”
I swallowed the emotion rising like glass shards in my throat. “I was ready to give up when I heard noise, and suddenly, there was a young pup running up to me, and on her heels, her frantic parents.”
“Chance and Huxley.”
“Yeah. They knew who I was,” I said. “Apparently your mother sent out a notice to the pack to keep their eyes peeled for me. Huxley helped patch my wound while Chance made dinner. I was so hungry, I don’t even remember what he made, I ate itso fast. Huxley told me that you’d gotten into a fight with Gracie, and that you’d left too.”
Xan’s growl was sharp, his brow furrowing. “Yeah, because she was being a fucking bitch,” he said. “She never should’ve banished you from the pack. She didn’t even let us explain!”
I made a face. “Xan, there was nothing to explain. She could smell it.”
“I don’t care. It didn’t warrant that kind of reaction,” he replied with a derisive snort. “I told her that if you weren’t welcome, then neither was I, and then I packed a bag and went to Shay’s house. I’ve spent the last two weeks working extra shifts at work, saving for an apartment. I have no intention of moving back in with Mom. Not after what she did.”
His hard expression crumbled, his forehead crumpling as he pressed it to mine. “I thought I’d never see you again…”
I threaded my fingers through his dark hair. “I know,” I murmured. “Just having you near me calms my beast. He’s been so angry and wild.”
“I’m here, River,” Xan promised, then hesitated. “But…what now?”
