Page 40 of Claiming Xan
It still did. I knew it would be exhausting. I knew driving over to the hotel and facing River would utterly wring me out, but god, I needed to see him. I needed to make sure he was okay.
Chance said he wasn't in good shape, but what did that mean? Why was he starving? Had something happened? Had he been captured by those evil scientists again?
Every thought snowballed into the next as I shaved and scrubbed myself until my skin was pink and my hair was squeaky clean. I stepped out onto the bath mat and wrapped a towel around myself, drying off as quickly as possible.
I just wanted to go and get it over with. To face the truth that I was afraid of, the fact that River might see me differently if he knew I was pregnant and it was his. I didn't know how bad histrauma was; I knew Sky's ran pretty deep, from what Jem had told me, but River had always been pretty quiet about his past.
"Deep breath," I told my reflection, still half-fogged over in the mirror. "You can do this."
I dressed in something cute but comfy—soft jeggings, flip-flops and a t-shirt with capped sleeves with a sparkly mushroom on the front that said "Let It Grow."
I gathered up all my belongings from the spare room and stuffed them into my bag, then went into the living room to say goodbye to Donovan.
"Thank you so much," I told him. "For giving me a place to crash. For not judging my terrible life decisions."
Of course, he wrapped me in a huge hug, which made my emotions burble up like a babbling brook. I had to fight tears as he squeezed me tight and said, "Of course, Xan. You're always welcome here, you know that. Besides, you never know when we might need a favor." He winked. "Babysitting duty so Shay and I can have regular date nights?"
I grinned through the sheen of tears in my vision. "Of course! I can't wait. Love you, Donovan."
"Love you too, Xanny. Don't forget to call Shay."
"I'll call him on my drive over," I promised, and I did just that. Of course, he was at work and he wasn't allowed to have his phone on the floor, so I got his voicemail. But he deserved to hear it from me, so I decided to leave him one.
"Hey, Shay. It's Xan. I know you're at work, but I wanted to let you know that something happened." I took a breath. "They found River. He's staying in a hotel. I'm headed over to now to see him. Scared as fuck, because I don't know how this is gonna go, but I'll keep you posted either way. Wish me luck. Love you, bye." I hung up, my heart hammering in my chest, because this was real.
By the time I pulled into the hotel lot and parked, my hands were shaking. For a few minutes, I just sat in the car, my mind whirring. I thought of River, of the nights we spent together, wrapped up in each other's bodies. Of licking sweat and cum off River's skin as the Alpha moaned my name in such a way that made my inner-wolf whine with pleasure. The bite mark on my neck gave a twinge, and I placed my hand over the top of it. My wolf whimpered.Mate...
I left all my stuff in the car, locking it behind me, then pocketed my keys and went inside. Room 223. I took the elevator up, my heart skipping beats, thumping wildly as I stared at the brass number plate on the door as I came to a stop in front of it. I knew it was the right place. I could smell River's scent lingering in the doorway, like he'd hesitated here, too.
River...
Anxious and more than a little scared, I raised my hand and knocked. I chewed on my bottom lip and waited. I heard movement. Footsteps, and then…
River stood in the doorway, looking more disheveled than I felt, like he hadn't slept in weeks. He had dark thumbprints beneath his eyes and his face was wan, his expression tight. For a moment, I stared at him and he stared back, and then to my shock, he let out a choked sound and lurched forwards. I gasped as he threw his arms around me and practically crushed me to his chest.
Not the reunion I expected. Not from River.
"Hey," I breathed, stroking River's hair as the Alpha buried his face in the crook of my neck, right here in the open doorway. "Hey, it's okay." I felt his breath whuff out warm against my skin before I gently pushed him back. He stepped away, but he didn't let go of me, not for a second, dragging me inside with him.
I closed the door behind me and flipped the lock, then carefully pried myself out of River’s death grip. “River, baby…”
River let out a shaken breath as he finally let me go. He stepped back, string down at me, his expression filled with more emotion than I’d ever seen on his face before—and all at once, too. Fear. Hope. Sorrow. Pain.
It made me ache.
I cupped his scruffy face in my hands, stroking over his cheekbones with the pads of my thumbs. “I’m here,” I whispered, stepping into his space.
“I thought I’d lost you forever,” he choked out, his voice thick. His hands fisted at his sides as he looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, Xan. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t?—”
“No.” I closed the distance between us and pressed a kiss to River’s lips, cutting him off. “No,” I repeated, softer. “This isn’t anyone’s fault but Mom’s for overreacting. We’re adults. You didn’t ‘defile’ me or any of the other bullshit she said. You spent my heat with me. Consensually. We fucked like rabbits. Consensually. We got carried away and claimed each other…consensually.”
I smiled. River gave a soft laugh, then pulled me back to his chest. He pressed his face to my hair and breathed me in, then in a long, low growl that made tingles run down my spine, he said, “Mine.”
My heart kicked in my chest, my wolf howling with glee. “Yours…”
24
RIVER
