Page 88 of Girl, Empty
‘You want to sit here?In this office?And deal with all the crap that comes with it?’
‘Yes,’ Ripley said.
'Do you have any idea what this job involves?I didn't just spend ten years giving orders, you know?I had to'
'Will, you're the fifth director I'm saying goodbye to, and yes, I know what you do.I know you're a politician.I've seen the stress, late nights, legal battles, public humiliations, budget cuts, and death threats.I've seen them more close-up than you might realize.'
‘Mia, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you’re not a politician.You don’t gel with that world at all.’
‘You just said it a minute ago.Nothing changes by staying the same.’
Edis went silent for a moment.‘You know I oversee the entire Bureau, correct?I don’t just deal with Behavioral.’
‘And I’ve worked with every department in here.Intelligence, Counter-terrorism, Fraud, Cyber Crimes.You name it.You don’t last 30 years in this place without seeing every single corner at least once.You could get recommendations from every head.You can show them my track record.Most cases closed of any field agent in history.More commendations of any agent since Douglas.Half the senior agents in this building came up through training protocols I designed after Quantico.Three academic papers, all required reading for new recruits.I testified before two different Senate Intelligence Committees.I’ve shaken hands with six presidents.Does none of thisat leastput me in the running?’
Edis reached out, picked up one of the blue ties, and ran the silk fabric between his thumb and forefinger.He wasn't looking at Ripley anymore, but at the empty space between them.‘That’s what I wanted to hear.’
‘What?My credentials?’
'No.The passion.And yes, I can recommend my successor, but that's all it is.A recommendation.There's no guarantee of anything, and you can'taskto be my decision.It has to be my decision, unsolicited.Okay?’
Ripley said nothing.She understood the distinction.He wasn’t denying her; he was giving her the protocol.
‘This conversation, right here, can’t exist,’ Edis continued.He dropped the tie into the box.‘If it gets out that you solicited my endorsement, it becomes political maneuvering.Our enemies, and the Bureau has plenty, will use it to bury you before your nomination even gets to the Senate floor.I have to keep any seedy backroom deals to a minimum, you understand?’
Ripley glanced over at the flowers.‘Ella appreciates the roses.’
Edis’s expression suggested that he caught Ripley’s double-meaning.‘I’m sure she does.Now, I think you should take them, since they’re what you really came for, aren’t they?’
‘Yes they are, but I’m not leaving until I’ve given you a hug.’
‘A hug?Mia, I’ve never seen you hug anybody.’
Ripley didn't answer.She closed the space between them.For a half-second, Edis looked like he might recoil, then her hands came up and pressed flat against his back, one on each shoulder blade.It was less an embrace and more a physical punctuation mark to their ten years.She could feel the tense knot of muscle under his suit jacket.
And then she stepped back, crossed to the liquor cabinet, and picked up her flowers.'Goodbye, Will.It's been a ride.'
He just nodded.‘Yes it has.And trust me.You’ve never let me down, and I’ll do everything I can to return the favor.’
‘Thank you, sir.If you need anything in the future, you know where to find me.’
Edis tapped the back of his chair.‘I believe I do.’
EPILOGUE
Ella hadn’t cried throughout the priest’s eulogy.She hadn’t cried when an older woman told a story of her son driving three hours to trap a rat in her garage.She hadn’t even cried when the coffin disappeared behind the velvet curtain and took Ben into the fire.
Tears were a private indulgence, and Ella hadn’t earned the right, not when this whole funeral was her fault.
But now, outside the chapel, walking through the amateur shrine to her ex’s life, the tears ambushed her.Rows of tables were covered in white linen, all laden with wreaths of lilies and photos propped up on small wire easels.Ben’s family had arranged his life in chronological order; baby photos where he looked like a confused potato, school pictures with a cowlick that never laid flat.Then his university years through to his working life, concluding with photos of a shirtless Ben posing in a wrestling ring.
The sobs tore from her throat, and for a moment she was suddenly cradling a dead bird at five years old again, asking her aunt why things had to die when they still had life to live.
She stopped at a display of sympathy cards and glanced back at the crowd that were still falling out of the chapel.There’d been an incredible turnout, more than Ella had ever imagined, and that just made the whole thing even worse.
‘Thank you for coming.’
Ella spun and saw a woman staring at her beneath a veiled hat; the same woman who'd told the story about the rat in her garage.Ben's mother.A woman, Ella, had never been during their time together.
