Page 52 of Artemysia
He swears. “You’re an ice block.” He wraps an arm over me and curls around my ribs from behind, being gentle with my left shoulder. “Good now?”
“Yes,” I say stiffly. And it is. Immediately enveloped in his warmth,I feel his hot breath on the shell of my ear. The different cords of muscle in his torso tense and relax as he settles against me.
He sighs into the darkness. “I miss Owlfred.”
I sputter and laugh. “What?”
“He fucking ate berries out of my hand after you left.”
“He didn’t bite you?”
“No.”
“Owlfred bites everyone.”
Riev is silent for a moment. “Why would you tell me to feed him, then?”
I chuckle darkly under my breath.
“If he hadn’t interrupted us, would we have slept together?” he asks plainly.
My back goes rigid, and I answer too quickly. “Absolutely not.”
“What did you want to happen then? That night. I recall you were begging me to touch you.”
“Nothing. I don’t remember it that way! Kissing only.” My words come out too fast, too high. I’m flustered, and suddenly I’m no longer cold, but too warm.
“Is kissing the only thing you’ve done?”
“No. Why would you assume that?”
“You’ve been with other men before?”
“Sure.”
“Many?”
“Well, let’s see…there was Thom, Kiran, and Galliver—”
A deep rumble of a growl. “No, no. I don’t wanna know names. What kind of name isThom?” he spits it out. “You’re killing me.” His warm breath hits the nape of my neck, raising the small hairs there. “Imagining you with other men.”
“Does it disgust you to think of me that way?” I let the sarcasm drip.
“It makes me jealous.”
His answer pours oil on the flames, the fire between my thighs. Why am I such a sucker for honesty? “Oh. No, there haven’t been many at all. When it comes to sex, I’m not worry-free and unfettered like Throg, and I’m not as confident as Ivy.”
“Did you love them?” Riev asks, his voice suddenly softer.
“They all said they loved me, and I said it back.”
“Did you feel it?”
I hesitate. “It’s not nice not say it back. Especially on the eve of a mission when one of us might not make it back alive. I mean, I liked them, otherwise I wouldn’t have slept with them. I tried not to let myself get too attached. Or I did, and it really hurt when they died. All of them are dead now, you know. Battling Syf.”
“Ah.”
Though his arm is draped around me, he keeps his hands off, and I see his palm clench into a fist when I admit my heartbreak. I try not to recall any of their faces.
