Page 20 of Artemysia
Why do I refuse? There are only reasonsnotto do this. Certain death, for Delphine and Throg, that is. But not for me. Ever since I mapped out most of the way through the woods, I had a plan.
There’s only one reason I signed on to do this, again and again.
With my old team dead, my plan was to escort the new team as far as possible through Artemysia to give them the best chance at survival, and then ditch them to escape this life. Run off and live on the other side of the forest, where no one could ever find me again.
This was going to be it. My last mission. Whatever is on the other side has to be better than being a king’s pet.
A captive assassin.
Thatwasmy secret, cowardly plan. But now? With Delphine involved? Could I do that to someone like her?
Anyone but her.
I don’t care about saving the world.
I want only to live a life unbothered, and not die an assassin. Not be used as a weapon forever.
I’m not noble like Delphine. Shit. Can I get them through alive and still make my escape?
No. No way.
I can’t let anyone in the war room see my disappointment—my sheer panic—over my ruined plans.
Instead, I make eye contact with each colonel, letting them know there are more fingers to be lost. They take turns shifting papers, shoving their hands into their pockets or taking a long, nervous drag on their cigars.
They are not only afraid for their fingers, but also terrified…because I’ve killed one of them before.
They believe if I lose it right here, I’ll slaughter them all. This brings me a bit of joy, so I go with that feeling instead of the regret and insult that lies underneath, because this is how they’vealwaysviewed me. Their dirty little secret weapon of mass destruction.
The king clears his throat, expecting my reply.
“You can’t expect me to babysit these children and not get myself killed,” I argue sullenly. I shoot a furtive glance to gauge Delphine’s reaction.
She emits an annoyed cluck of her tongue. Her honorable, feisty face is screwed into a look that says she’s choking back a reply out of respect for the king.
My goal has always been to survive long enough in this role to find another way for myself. The two men I lost last time planned on escaping with me. It hurts to think of them. How wealmostmade it to a place where no one could come after us for deserting. But when I failed to save them, the Syf pursued me the whole way back. Pulled off my pack and destroyed all my supplies. With nothing left, I was forced to return. Dammit.
Now, with my hand-picked shadow team decimated, the military is tightening their grip on me. They’re assigning Delphine, their trained best, to keep me in check. Someone to ensure I do as I’m told now that I’ve nearly found a way to the other side, and to make decisionstheywould make themselves upon contact with North Kingdom, if it exists.
In other words, they need to bring in the humans. There’s no doubt they see me as inhuman.
After all, they trained me after seeing my aptitude for killing when I was a child.
King Galke regards me silently, and no one else dares to speak to me, so I stare back at him defiantly.
“I can do this alone,” I hiss through grinding teeth. I’m about to break a tooth, so I slump back into my chair and kick out my legs.
Why riskherlife? The big ogre, Throg, he can come. He’s standing there relaxed, not a care in the world. I’d be less sad if he died. Though he’s not as dumb as he looks; he recognized a suicide mission right away.
I’d resigned myself to not getting attached to my next team…but now…fuck. Here’s someone who hoards candy and feeds an owl in a clocktower. And I owe her one. There’s no question she’s a good person with a big heart. That fucking kiss made her way too real. I shouldn’t care. Ishouldhave kept my distance like I do with everyoneelse. But now, I look at Delphine’s determined little frown and my heart tugs in a way that I haven’t felt before.
The need to keep her safe eats away at me.
Can I live with myself if Delphine is gutted by Syf, her face chewed off like the men I lost? The image sickens me.
The king interrupts my grim thoughts. “Riev, you’re a killing machine, are you not? We need you to protect these two, so the right decisions are made once you get through the woods.”
The way he emphasizesright decisionsrankles me.
