Page 43 of Angel in Absentia
She looked at everyone. “I will go retrieve it, and then this will be my mission,” she said. “It may very well be the mission I was meant for, why all of this now makes sense. This is the next step for me. Only a healer could have ended up in the position I am in now. What was once my flaw is our opportunity to win.”
The truths settled across the room, and she rose slowly to her feet. She looked at each of them in the eyes, noting the mixture of emotions that even they seemed intent to still rifle through. She watched each and every one of them grapple with the betrayal of her secrecy, and the offering of her penance.
“Well?” she pushed, waiting on their judgment.
“I knew Veilin in Virday who had healed Venennin,” Yvan said, an innocent and perhaps futile defense.
Clea caught her eyes and offered a quiet nod, though she knew the opinion of a Virdain woman might not hold much weight here.
The others looked at her father, and they waited on both sides of the table. He regarded her heavily, and she was surprised to see a measure of pain in his eyes, not anger.
“I think it is time the Lodain High Council discuss this matter privately,” he announced, dismissing Yvan, Dae, and Idan from the room.
Clea was the last to go, straightening where she stood at the table.
Her father gave her a firm nod, and she backed away, entering the hallway before the doors closed behind her.
CHAPTER 13
RUEDOM
HE RESULTING AFTERNOON was a mixture of arguments, questions, and accusations. When at last the dust settled, Clea was on her way to Ruedom, sitting on the back edge of the carriage with Iris and Idan inside.
“And then,” Idan exclaimed emphatically, Clea glancing back at him with a smile, just as he pointed an accusing finger at her, “she tells the entire council that we’ve been inspecting the Insednian weapon in secret!”
Iris burst out laughing across from him.
“It’s not funny! You should have seen the look her father gave me!” Idan exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “He already thinks me an animal. Now I’m a liar and complicit in everything!”
Clea tried to bite down her smile, glancing back down the tunnel they were traveling through as the clapping hooves of the horses echoed around them.
“Oh Idan, one chip off your already-tarnished reputation won’t kill you,” Iris said, waving him off as she crawled out from the awning of the carriage and sat on the back across from Clea.
Idan poked his head out between them. “No, but the King of Loda might,” he said. “Do either of you not understand the gravity of this? Members of royalty in Ruedom are moresymbolic than anything. I walk around the city looking like a prince; that is my job. I don’t command an army of assassins.”
“Idan,” Clea said, tilting her head toward him, eyebrows raised, “you’re going to be fine. I should be the one worrying about it. Not you.”
“Are you?” Iris said. “That was a pretty shocking move, even for you. How did everyone handle the news?”
Clea stared out into the darkness, feeling oddly calm. “It’s going to take Dae time. He’s not the forgiving type. Probably for the best that I came on this trip. It didn’t bother Yvan at all. She was only hurt that I hadn’t told her sooner.”
“Her father was completely stone-faced,” Idan said. “Unreadable.”
Unreadable. That’s how he’d looked when she’d crossed into his office before taking her leave. He’d been standing there in front of the window. She imagined it now, having replayed the scene multiple times in her head.
She’d entered but remained near the door, expecting an angry dismissal. He didn’t say anything for a moment.
“I’ve taken responsibility for this,” he said.
“You had no right—” she started.
“Clea,” he said firmly and then turned around to face her. He looked tired, sinking into his chair slowly and inviting her to walk over. He was strangely devoid of anger. She settled into the chair across the desk from him. At last, he looked her in the eyes and asked, “Do you want to be Lodain?”
Clea couldn’t help but feel hurt by the question despite not being surprised by it.
“I took responsibility,” he said, “not for your ignorance, or your healing of the Insednian, but for trying to force your nature. You are, as you have even suggested yourself, not meant for Lodain royalty.”
Her countenance softened at his admission, and despite Clea having said those very words, it hurt to hear him say them in the way he said them now. He was not critical or gruff as he often could be. She’d often disregarded any commentary in his gruffness, but this felt different. Too honest.
