Page 114 of Beautiful Ruins
He let go of me, gently, and moved to my father’s body. He checked the pulse anyway, because he was Rowan and that’s what he did, even for monsters.
Then he turned back to me, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me up from the floor with swift determination. The support was a lifeline, solid and real in a way that kept me from collapsing beneath the pain.
“I’ve got you, baby,” he said, tightening his grip. “Hold on to me.”
Rowan’s voice anchored me, gave me something to grasp on to as I leaned into him, my legs shaking and unsteady.
My lips formed the word before the sound. “Snake.” My throat closed tight around the word, as though the very mention of him would somehow make him reappear.
Rowan’s grip faltered slightly. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll be dealt with.” He hauled me through the first door, moving fast, urgency in every step. “I’m not letting anybody hurt you ever again.” The words were supposed to calm me, but they couldn’t erase the terror snaking through my body.
Each step sent sharp needles through my lungs, every muscle shrieking as it remembered what it felt like to be used.My ribs were burning, as if they were detaching one by one with every painful jolt.
Staying upright was a battle I didn’t think I’d win. I wasn’t sure how my legs kept moving, but Rowan was by my side—and that was enough.
Another door loomed in front of us, and Rowan shoved it open, splintering the frame and sending dust flying. Every part of me screamed, muscles protesting under the strain of keeping myself upright. For all I knew, I’d fall apart before we even made it out.
A last, battered door appeared ahead. Rowan kicked it with a brutal finality, and I stumbled beside him, my legs barely responding. He dragged me through the doorway, my body no longer my own to command.
Fresh air crawled over my clammy skin, the blinding light searing through the dust-clogged darkness we’d left behind. The cool breeze felt like a sharp slap, jarring after the stifling air of the hallway.
“Sadie!” Scout raced towards me, his face a mix of horror and guilt as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and lifted my chin. “God, I’m so fucking sorry.” His eyes were wide and desperate, searching mine for something he could never find.
I held his gaze. Both the boy he was and the man he was becoming stared back at me. He was willing to risk everything for family, for acceptance, just like we all had. But after everything, I was just glad to see his handsome face.
“Not now, Scout.” Rowan’s voice was low and strained, a warning beneath the weight of his words. He was fighting to carry both of us to safety. “We need to move. Snake’s still out there.”
Scout nodded as he retreated. Rowan picked up his pace, practically dragging me as his breathing turned heavy, each exhale rough and raw.
We reached Bear, and he slid the van door open with a groan, the rusted hinges protesting as they revealed the dim interior, a faint scent of gasoline and leather lingering in the air. Rowan thrust me toward him, his urgency palpable.
Bear, unfazed and ready, wrapped an arm around my waist as he pulled me away from Rowan. “You think the bastard’s close?”
“Yeah.” Rowan’s reply was firm, the one word filled with the darkness brewing inside him. “I need you to keep her safe. Don’t let anything happen to her. I’ll be back.”
Wait—he wasn’t coming?
“What?” The word ripped out of me, hoarse and feral, and I reached for Rowan, fingers grasping at warm air. “No. You’re coming with us. You can’t leave me again.” My plea left the air between us heavy, pulsing with everything I couldn’t say.
The thought of losing him burrowed into my consciousness. It couldn’t happen, not after the emptiness of the past few hours, not after fighting against the thought that I’d never seen him again.
Rowan cupped my cheeks, his eyes darting between mine. “Baby, this ends tonight. As long as Snake’s alive, you’re in danger. I can’t lose you, Sades. Not again. I made that mistake once. I won’t make it twice.” His words frayed, urgency roughening their edges. “We’ll talk later, but right now I need you safe.”
My tears traced freely down my face. “No. Please, Rowan. Don’t leave me.” I could hardly get the words out, each one slicing through me. “I need you. Please don’t leave me again. I can’t lose you. Not after everything that’s happened. Not after I finally got you back.”
I knew what it meant for him to stay back. But all I could think about was the last time he’d gone out and came back bleeding out and half-dead. It was an emptiness I never wantedto feel again, and as much I fought against it, it came rushing back, clawing at my insides like a wild beast. The scars and the hollowed-out spaces it left behind were still there.
Rowan sniffed but couldn’t quite hide the soft catch in his breath. A small, sad smile trembled on his lips. Then he kissed me one last time. It was a promise. But was it one he could keep?
I gripped onto his shirt as though the fabric was strong enough to anchor him to me, as if holding on could bind us through the chaos. It didn’t. He pulled back, my grip failing, and pressed his forehead to mine. It felt more like goodbye.
“I’ll come find you, Firefly. Always.” His words were a promise, but they didn’t come without weight.
Then he nodded at Bear and took off into the haze of dust and dirt, his silhouette disappearing like a ghost behind the building.
“No! Rowan!” The scream ripped from my throat, raw and unrestrained, and I shoved at Bear’s chest. I didn’t care that it was useless, that it hurt worse than dying. “Come back.” The words echoed through the paddock, frantic as they chased him down.
I needed him to hear me, needed him to stop, needed him to?—
