Page 49 of Beautiful Ruins
Not that I didn’t want to be around her. It was that it was painful to look at her and not remember my brother, or the fact she took off. And let’s not forget about the kiss from the previous night. For years, I’d wanted to make Sadie mine, and now she was. She just didn’t have a say in it.
I had to shove down the thought that this time around wouldn’t end any differently. It was possible after all this, Sadie would remain where she was supposed to be.
With me.
I sighed as I leaned forward and pressed my elbows into my thighs. “Thank Bear and Scout. They’re the ones who talked me into this terrible idea. So, this is me asking for your help.” The words almost burned coming out, not because I didn’t want her help, but because of what asking for it meant. “And besides, we need to keep up the pretence that you’re mine. Doesn’t work if we don’t spend any time together.”
She stood there, flushed and confused, still not entirely sold on this new version of me that was asking instead of telling. Her scepticism could’ve filled the room on its own. I knew this plan was a long shot, but I also knew it was the only shot we had left, and maybe she would see that, too. It was what I was banking on.
Finally, she huffed out a small laugh. “Rowan Knight, asking for my help.” With the back of her hand, she swiped the sheen of sweat from her forehead. “Well, I never thought I’d see the day.”
There was no mistaking the hint of satisfaction in her tone,in her expression. She could lap it up all she wanted. She still didn’t have the upper hand.
“Funny.” I clenched my jaw. It was one thing asking for her help, another thing being reminded how much I needed it. “Now, how about we grab those boxes. Bear and Scout will be over in an hour.”
For a moment, Sadie remained frozen, eyes narrowed on me like she was trying to see inside my head to work out whether or not I was being genuine. I wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t.
“Fine,” she said, whipping out her phone from her back pocket. “But I’m asking Jasmine to come, too.”
I groaned and scrubbed a hand down my face, the weight of this inevitable shit-show already crushing me. There was no arguing with her. I was too damn tired. Besides, she already knew I wouldn’t say no.
Sadie glanced up from the phone screen, eyebrow raised. “You begged for my help, remember? This is what that looks like.” Her eyes caught the light seeping in through the window, gleaming like she’d just won something.
Wouldn’t say I’d begged. But it didn’t matter. Some things never changed. Sadie was still the master of finding a way to push my buttons.
I lifted a shoulder, a half-shrug that was supposed to convey my indifference. “Fine, but just so you know, Scout has had a hard-on for Jasmine since the day he stepped foot inside the clubhouse. You best believe it’s going to get awkward.”
Sadie’s eyes widened, as did her grin, flashing me those perfect teeth I’d always dreamt would one day leave a mark on my skin. “Oh, my god.” Christ, she was already too eager to stick her nose in where it didn’t belong. “Does Jasmine know? He’s adorable.” She typed away on her phone like she couldn’twait to spill the beans, that smug little smirk lingering on her full lips.
I scoffed. “Adorable?” Probably not the word I would have used for Scout. Although, I wasn’t a woman.
Why did Bear and Scout think asking for Sadie’s help was a good idea? And why was I letting her get under my skin this easily? I could already picture it now, Scout stumbling over himself to impress Jazz, and me having to do damage control when Sadie’s meddling backfired on everyone. I wasn’t running a damn dating service.
She continued to text, her fingers flying across the screen while the rest of her ignored me. “Don’t sound so jealous, Rowan. He’s not my type.” Her voice had that infuriating, dismissive tone to it, and she didn’t even bother to look at me as she spoke.
“I’m not jealous,” I said, sinking back into the couch to stop myself from snapping.
The springs creaked under me, the fabric still smelling faintly of dust and Sadie’s perfume, like nothing and everything had changed. I bit my tongue to stop myself from asking what her type was. What if I wasn’t it? As much as I hated to admit it, truth was, Scout wasn’t the only one who’d be lost if he finally got the girl.
Yeah, I was fucking hopeless.
“Okay. Done.” With a final tap, she tucked her phone into the back pocket of her shorts and clapped her hands. “Let’s do this before Dad gets back. He’s got enough reasons to be pissed at me right now.”
Interesting. I wanted to ask her what her old man was pissed about. If it had anything to do with me, then I’d be more than happy to rub it in his weathered face. The bastard didn’t get to control me any more than he could control Sadie.
Instead, I kept my mouth shut and stood, rubbing my hands together. “Where are these boxes?”
Nothing was more awkward than not knowing what to do with myself when Sadie was around. At least I was getting better at asking, even if it was killing me from the inside out.
For a moment, Sadie continued to stare at me, her eyes darting to my mouth like I’d just reminded her of more than the boxes. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pointed to the kitchen.
“Everything’s in the shed,” she said, a private storm of thoughts behind her eyes. “Mum’s boxes are labelled ‘Patricia.’ Like she meant nothing.” She mumbled those last words, more to herself than to me.
But I understood exactly what she meant.
When someone died, it was easy enough to shove everything that ever reminded you of them into a box and label it as though they were nothing more than a name on a cardboard lid. A last name when you wanted to pretend, a first name when you still had affection to give but no-one left to give it to.
With Logan, I hadn’t touched his room since he’d died. And it wasn’t like me to keep things around that hurt. Sadie was the exception. But Logan? Him and his space lingered.
